Top 5 Potty Training Mistakes
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NANCY COHEN: No one will tell you that potty-training is easy. But just as there are steps you can take to help the process go smoother there are also some common mistakes that you need to avoid so you’re not making it harder and messier than it needs to be. Today we’ll be talking about the Top 5 Potty-Training Mistakes. I’m Nancy Cohen, child development and behavior specialist and this is Parent Savers Episode 88.
JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome once again everybody to Parent Savers broadcasting from the Birth Education Center of San Diego. Parent Savers is your weekly online, on-the-go support group for parents of newborns, infants and toddlers. I’m your host, Johner Riehl, thanks again to all of our loyal listeners who joined us week-in and week-out. And thanks also to those of you who are listening for the first time.
As you may or may not know, you can join our Parent Savers Club and receive access to special bonus content after each new show, plus, special giveaways and discounts from time to time. And if you haven’t already please make sure to download the free Parent Savers app available for Android and Iphones, so you can automatically have access to all the great parenting advice and conversations we have on Parent Savers every week, it pops up automatically.
So let’s start this week’s conversation by meeting everyone who’s joining us in the room. I’ll start with myself, I’m Johner Riehl, your host, I have three boys, a six year old, a four year old and a two year old. And I am just about to turn forty but not quiet there quiet yet, but it will be in a couple of months
ANNIE LAIRD: I’m Annie, I’m 35, I’m a teacher. I have three little girls, a one month old, a year and a half old and then an eight year old. So I’ve gone through potty-training with the eight year old but it been not young and I’m coming up quickly potty-training for the next one so, happy to be here
JOHNER RIEHL: And we got the pitter patter of little feet for a soon to be potty-training candidate, if he’s not already started and we were joined by his parents. We got our producer…
ERIN ESTEVES: Erin Esteves, Oh Gee Mama Sita, and yeah that’s Cash he’s too and running around like crazy right now so I apologize
JOHNER RIEHL: That’s ok
MATT BOWLER: And I’m Matt, and I’m just keeping my eye on him, because he’s playing with the remotes
JOHNER RIEHL: Nice
MATT BOWLER: He’s grabbing at everything
NANCY COHEN: Being two.
MATT BOWLER: Being two.
ERIN ESTEVES: And he’s doing very well at being two
JOHNER RIEHL: And then Nancy…
NANCY COHEN: I am Nancy Cohen, I’m a child development and behavior specialist. I am going to refrain from telling you my age. I have a thirty six year old daughter and so you can do the math and kind of see where I fall. Anyway, I’ve been, It’s been a while since I’ve potty-trained in my house however I worked with lots of families who were potty-training and I know that it can be pretty challenging sometimes
JOHNER RIEHL: So it should be a great conversation today. Thanks everyone for joining us.
JOHNER RIEHL: Before we jump in to today’s conversation we’re going to look at the new app available for parents. We’re going to look in the app, that’s right Cash, get excited because we are going to look at the meal deals app from Haywood Apps, it’s 99 cents, it’s on iphone, ipad and android.
Basically, what it is, it’s an app that you can easily look at what are some of the deals that some of the chain restaurants around the country and extensively in your neighborhood as well as based on your physical location try to see what restaurants, usually chain restaurants from what I saw, are available for you close to you and then you can pull it up it tells you a little bit about it, you can click on the map and it opens up apple maps to take you there.
But you also got a list of deals, and from the deals I saw, it would be things like they had a white castle deal on there and I don’t think there are white castles in San Diego so I think that it ties you into some national deals or promotions that are noteworthy which could come in handy. Some of it may not apply to you and if that annoys you a lot then that’s probably going to annoy you about this app but if you’re able to just kind of filter through it to find what you need, then it could be kind of interesting. So, Matt and Erin, what do you guys think? Did you guys have the chance to check it out?
MATT BOWLER: I wasn’t a big fan, we have browsed by location brought up Starbucks and one other restaurant Buca di Beppo downtown. And the deals were not that big of a deal in my opinion. Spend $30 and you get free mug well I already knew that. That’s not really giving me anything special. And then not only it’s a big chain, it’s just that they’re not really special deals that I think are unique in any way
JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah, there’s something I saw that was like “Oh here’s a deal I didn’t know about or”
MATT BOWLER: There’s nothing that would make me go to that restaurant. They are almost like, these are the deals that you would expect in a way. In every chain has their promotions and stuff and I know that, I’ve known a few people that have made apps like these and they’re linked into a bigger website that then data minds like your facebook profile. So if you sign up for this, you’re getting what little information they have been able to create but then they’re actually selling all of your information hopefully to get better deals that information will generate actually more and better deals the more people downloaded. So it could be that the app is really young
JOHNER RIEHL: I think that’s where it’s at, right? is I think the theory is really interesting, that here is something that easily will tell you all these information at a glance including some deals. It feels like it’s not necessarily there to be useful. But I did find like one use, if you are a family and this has happened to us a few times, and I wouldn’t say that this is who we are but if you find yourself in different areas from time to time, I mean you’re like “We go to find a place to eat” And my wife, if she’s hungry we got to get her food, I can’t like “Dude wait an hour and get home”
MATT BOWLER: You tell your wife dude?
JOHNER RIEHL: When she’s angry, I probably do, right? When she’s hungry, yeah, I tell her anything when she’s hungry. So it might be in different part of town, maybe we were down at just leaving your guys house downtown I’m not familiar with that area so I can call that up and it can easily tell me some restaurant options, maybe it’s not all the options but it’s in possibilities
ERIN ESTEVES: Well I can see that happening in the future, unfortunately, right now it’s not that extensive. I checked in our area which Matt just said was is in downtown and we got Starbucks and Buca di Beppo
JOHNER RIEHL: It wasn’t too bad
ERIN ESTEVES: Right. I mean how many restaurants in downtown San Diego, there are literally hundreds of them, so, the fact that
JOHNER RIEHL: I think it’s more chain restaurants
MATT BOWLER: Maybe. But there’s a lot of chain places downtown too, almost I would say about a third of the restaurants on fifth avenue are chain restaurants
ERIN ESTEVES: My feeling is that, I see potential in it and I would like to revisit it after it had a few of the kinks worked out. But for now, I’m going to go with the “No”
MATT BOWLER: Yeah and for 99 cents, I mean it’s not a lot of money but you feel like you spent 99 cents that it should already were
JOHNER RIEHL: I know the app economy is crazy right? It absolutely is, the app economy is totally crazy because here’s you know like it’s a dollar so I should get something a little bit more than if it was a free app, so, I have to say here’s a dollar that you’ve got to spend, like there’s some apps were like this is a dollar but totally worth it you’re not going to believe what you’re getting for a dollar.
This one, if you fit, I think into, if you find yourself often in places wondering where it is to eat, it’s hard to go to Google maps and like to say for and scroll around then I think this could be useful. I wouldn’t say you have to go out and spend it for a dollar; I wouldn’t say it initially and be mad that you spent a dollar on it if you could get that utility out of it. I would give it a little bit of a thumbs up. You know kind of with what you’re saying; I think I want to look at it again and in a couple of months. So, I think we have a hesitant of and two down and maybe one more one down. Sorry about that, that’s the meal deals app, it’s 99 cents and its available on apps store and for android and thanks for checking it out.
JOHNER RIEHL: Alright, thanks again everybody for joining us here on Parent Savers, let’s jump in to today’s topic which is the Top 5 Potty-Training Mistakes and that’s kind of the words that you don’t want to hear together, mistakes and potty-training. But it’s kind of inevitable and today we’re talking with Nancy Cohen, a child development and behavior specialist, thanks for joining us.
NANCY COHEN: You’re welcome. Happy to be here.
JOHNER RIEHL: So let’s start, before we begin to the mistakes, I guess, let’s start with some juicy stuff and let’s talk about some horror stories that we’ve all had with some potty-training and like how it’s gone
ANNIE LAIRD: So we could totally scare Erin and her husband
ERIN ESTEVES: I know you’re giving me this look
JOHNER RIEHL: It’s like they’re getting ready to go through. Do you have anything that pops to mind Annie?
ANNIE LAIRD: Well I just think of fault when the first time that potty-training came up even as a topic. We were moving and so I knew it wasn’t the right time to approach it then. But I was at work a lot. I was working on shifts so I would leave before my daughter would even wake up in the morning and then I would pick her up at the very last moment that I could pick her up from the day care so I knew that the day care had to be on board. I didn’t realize though that it was a contract that I need to sign with the day care. They wouldn’t even broach, then they were a hard line about that said “If you break our rules then the deals off, we’re not potty-training your kid”. Then my mom was like “Oh my gosh, this was like hard core”
JOHNER RIEHL: So you’re potty-training with their rules?
ANNIE LAIRD: Yes. It was like you know “You will not put your kid in pull ups overnight, because that screws it up and so if you do that, the deal is off” The deal is off. Wow, like this is no game. They’re pretty serious about their potty-training
ERIN ESTEVES: And there’s a horror story. I’m speechless, I can’t even believe that
JOHNER RIEHL: Well Zyler is two and a half and there’s another kid in our neighborhood the same age and I think maybe six months ago, he has two older sisters and they were like “Oh yeah, he’s potty-trained and you know he’s going on the toilet for poop and pee”. And we had a dinner with them and then like went to a playground and the two year old pooped himself, and so like “Oh, I mean, I guess that happens right? Because I mean, that’s yeah right?” So, a couple months later, we were playing with them again, I think we went to a playground and then again the two year old pooped himself
ERIN ESTEVES: Maybe he just got very relaxed
JOHNER RIEHL: They said that’s the only time that he ends up having the mistakes is when he plays with us every time he goes to the playground. That he was doing totally great but for some reason our kids and us have this effect on her
ERIN ESTEVES: Stool softeners
MATT BOWLER: You guys are either very scary or very relaxing
JOHNER RIEHL: Exactly. But, yeah, I think it’s inevitable that there’s going to be many accidents
NANCY COHEN: Many accidents with peeing and pooping. At home and in public so, and then you just have to gear yourself up and know that, okay, were doing potty-training and it’s not going to go perfectly, smoothly. No child has like a text book potty-training. There’s always something that goes on, so, you just have to acclimate and just know that this going to happen and it’s going to be okay and set the expectations to be realistic and then you’ll be fine and then it’ll be much better.
But I think one of the biggest problems is potty-training earlier too soon, we have this idea that we have to get these kids potty-trained, you know by two, you know, or eighteen months or whatever age in your particular family and I think we get some pressure from family members. You know I remember from my mother saying “When is she going to be potty-trained, how come she’s not potty-trained?” It was like, I, we’re working on it, we’re working on it, you know, and every time I would talk to my mother, I was potty-trained younger, you know “Oh you were 18 months”, “you were potty-trained in utero”. Exactly, so what’s the problem with your kid? So, I think one of the things is that we’re ready and we want it to happen and so we try to pressure our children to be ready and they’re not really ready yet.
JOHNER RIEHL: What’s the problem if we pressure our kids?
NANCY COHEN: Then they just won’t do it. Either, because they’re two years old and they’re not ready to do it they’ll either be very abstinent about it, defy it “No, I’m not going to do it” or they don’t really have this readiness, they’re not showing the readiness signs like being able to get up and down, pull on and off their pants, which is an important thing to be able to do
ANNIE LAIRD: I’ve heard that girls potty-train a little bit earlier than boys, it’s the defend
NANCY COHEN: Often. Often, girls do potty-train earlier
ANNIE LAIRD: Sorry Johner.
JOHNER RIEHL: Look, we’re going to have like our last one is still in diapers, but I’m resigned to the fact that’s it going to be awhile, we’re just going to follow his phase
ANNIE LAIRD: He’s not going to go to college in diapers
NANCY COHEN: And what’s really funny too is that, parent’s are so pre-occupied with this all of the time the parent’s I have worked with are so pre-occupied with that potty-training, but really if you think about it, you know, over the years, you start to think, you know, when was my kid potty trained? I mean after a while you let go of that and you don’t even remember, five, six, seven eight, ten years later, how old your kid was and what happened and what were the good things and the hard things
JOHNER RIEHL: Five weeks later
NANCY COHEN: Exactly, exactly. So, it’s a lot of, I know, tenseness and emotion for parents when you’re going through it but I think if you can kind of relax about it and not worry and really know this is going to happen. You know, my kid will be potty-trained unless or some extenuating circumstances your child will be potty-trained. And there’s a wide range of variation, in the ages some kids potty-train at 20 or 22 months or 24 months and other kids are 3 or even a little bit over 3. And you’re right boys tend to train a little bit later than girls
MATT BOWLER: But I think, Annie was talking about it, it was kind of a little bit, maybe a little bit different than your situation but there are some preschool situations where they say “Hey, we’re not going to take your kid unless they’re potty-trained”
NANCY COHEN: Exactly, and I do think that that does put a lot of pressure on parents that they want their child in a particular preschool at a particular time and the only way they can get them into the preschool is if they’re potty-trained. You know, so, I don’t know so, what do you do? Well I think you might try to potty-train your child but if it’s not going well, then you have to drop it and just wait a little bit longer to put your child in that school because, really pressuring children really has the opposite effect. It doesn’t make them want to do it, it makes them not want to do it.
MATT BOWLER: Right. I feel like a lot of parents like that because they have to go back to work too, it’s not like they wouldn’t take that low key approach and just, you know, because kid doesn’t want to poop or pee himself, they don’t like that either. He likes to pee out of his crib so we walk in and he’ll rip off all of his clothes and he’s peeing on the crib
NANCY COHEN: That should be kind of fun. Well I’ve heard of things from little targets for boys. Have you heard about the targets, you can buy little targets for inside the toilet so that they can aim at the target and that makes it kind of a game, and they like it and so they pee in the toilet. Fruit loops, ok great.
MATT BOWLER: Flush them when you’re done
NANCY COHEN: Yes, please do that. So right, so but sometimes I think you’re really defeating the purpose if you try to pressure that child even if you have to get them into a day care. For a while you have to look at some other situation while you go back to work which is hard but really, you know, you’re not going to do your child or yourself any better if you try to push them.
JOHNER RIEHL: So that’s one of the first mistakes is doing it before kids are ready. And if you’re in that circumstance then you don’t throw on some tips and some things that you can do but that’s a whole other topic that we even have on our archives. Check our archives about some potty-training strategies. But, another mistake that parents make would be trying to see every child is the same.
NANCY COHEN: Exactly. Children are very different. There are some kids, you know, you have to really look at their temperamental styles and how they interact with the world and how they acclimate to new things in general. Some kids are right in it, you know, just really interested, they like to watch people go to the bathroom, they’re interested in it. They tell you when they’re going pee and poop and you know, they’re on bored. My daughter, wanted to get panties, she had a friend who went to the bathroom and had underpants like little princess underpants, and Catherine was like, whoa! Those are cool, I love those underpants. I said, right, well when you’re ready to pee and poop in the toilet you can have underpants. “I’m ready” So that was the incentive for her and she and it just worked for her
ANNIE LAIRD: I did the same thing
NANCY COHEN: And it worked for your daughter?
ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.
NANCY COHEN: It was amazing, but it doesn’t work for a lot of, that doesn’t work for a lot of kids, but some kids are more on board because they are pleasers because they are easy going, it’s time, it’s ready, they can do all, they had shown all the signs of readiness. Then other kids are more defiant, you know, and they want to do things when they’re ready to do it, and they’re not going to do it when you say “Okay now, oh do you want to use a potty, let’s start using some potty?” No. Absolutely not.
There the more difficult kids, more defiant, they do things when they’re ready to do it. And for some of those kids, what’s interesting is if you wait, say “Okay, looks like you’re not ready, that’s fine, you can tell me when you’re ready, here’s your potty, and you know we can try it and you sit down without your pants and nope! Ok fine” You kind of play it really easy and all of a sudden what’s really interesting is if when they’re ready they’re like “I’m ready. Okay great, I want to use a potty” Great! You want to use a potty and so, they’ve initiated it because that’s their type of personality and so, they’ll pretty, you know, much potty-train when they’re ready to go.
Some kids are pretty nervous about it, you know, it’s a new situation sitting on the potty is kind of weird sometimes they’ll feel okay about it in their house, in the bathroom, in their bathroom in one of the bathrooms but they would never sit on the toilet out in the world, you know, go to the zoo and you want to put him on the toilet, no way. So you have to be pretty cautious and really respect that child’s, I guess, fear and just a little slow to warm up to new things and so you kind of have to go slowly with that child and have it be at their timeframe. So looking at individual kids.
JOHNER RIEHL: Do those kids I think show a, like a, kind of foreshadow their personalities later on like they defiant potty-trainer are they going to be problem teenagers
MATT BOWLER: I was thinking about that as well
NANCY COHEN: Not necessarily but, temperament does play a role in your whole life, I mean, you know like, strong willed children are strong willed about a lot of things not only potty-training. It could be about eating, it could be about sleeping
JOHNER RIEHL: So this is like the first big challenge for a lot of people
NANCY COHEN: Right. Sleeping can be the first big challenge and potty-training the second big challenge. And so it’s important particularly if you are strong willed parent to not get in to that kind of fight with that child. You know, you don’t want to get to a power struggle ever about potty-training
MATT BOWLER: Like that’s a yes. The thing you don’t want to make it a big deal right? Even though it’s a really big deal
NANCY COHEN: Right. And you want to pretend that it’s not a big deal. Right. This is no big deal. Right. But I think kind of psyching yourself up that it’s no big deal is really important because if you’re all nervous about it then you’re child is going to pick up on that stress
JOHNER RIEHL: But usually you’ll fight the first No. But that won’t push it after that “You sure? You sure don’t want to try?” Yeah. Well, let’s take a quick break, when we come back let’s talk about the other mistakes but one of them is definitely something that’s tough for me because I’m a rewarder, I like to do the rewards, so, you know, that’s a mistake that I think that, there’s a lot of areas for mistakes on that as well so we’ll be right back talking more about potty-training mistakes
JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome back everybody to Parent Savers, today we’re talking about the top five potty-training mistakes with Nancy Cohen, thanks again for joining us
NANCY COHEN: You’re welcome.
JOHNER RIEHL: So let’s talk about rewards, because when you’re even talking about, you know that first time they go and they’re so excited, it’s like break out the M&M’s! like that’s my moms. And you know my mom, was like, my mom would always say “Just give them the M&M’s, just give the M&M’s, just do it or give them some Skittles”.
And so, you know we actually, you know now, with the 2 year old kind of learning with potty-training, the older brothers liked to get involved they’re more like “Hey if he goes, you get an M&M too” so they’re like encouraging him. But I feel like, you know, like for them “Common Zyler, you know you want to go on the potty, you know you want to go”, so then if he goes, or even if he tries, “So can I have my M&M?” Their treat is tied, but that also can lead in to some problems too
NANCY COHEN: Actually it does! Right! Well because it becomes about them M&M’s and not about using the toilet. Because what we really wanted for our child is to feel intrinsically rewarded, that it feels good to use the toilet and that they’re doing the right thing and that this is where they should be developed mentally and sometimes children don’t need a reward at all, you know, and we fall in to the trap of thinking that they do need that reward.
And the reality is we can just say “Wow! Good for you” you know “I bet you feel great about that” you know, you really give them the feeling of wow! I did something, I accomplished something. We do fall into that trap. I think there was a book when you were a kid, but so this is why probably your moms are so M&M oriented, that said “Give your kids some M&M’s and here’s how you potty-train, get a big bag of M&M’s, do it for a weekend and your kid will be trained. And I think a lot of my generation use that on their kids and now everybody courses to dig in to M&M’s. But in the quest every time you go to the bathroom you need M&M’s. Isn’t it funny?
ERIN ESTEVES: And we all have diabetes. Thanks mom!
JOHNER RIEHL: Thanks to that book
NANCY COHEN: Yeah. So for some kids, it does give the impedice, I mean as I said that my daughter wanted the underpants, you know, as soon as she saw those fairy girl or princess underpants it was like whoa! Way to go. So for some kids it does help them, you know, we “yey!, wow!” it’s the extra little thing that they might need getting an M&M but I think if we are reliant on that and that’s really the system that we use and we feel like we have to give them an M&M, then they might not be really ready. They might not be really ready, so, I’d pull back on the M&M’s with the family and just kind of wait. What’s your younger son’s name?
JOHNER RIEHL: Zyler.
NANCY COHEN: Zyler. So just wait a little longer, I mean is he starting to use the toilet?
JOHNER RIEHL: He is and he have worked with it and he also now would try to go and be like get M&M daddy, get M&M.
MATT BOWLER: I just keep having this vision that he keeps saying he flirts with the toilet. Sorry
ERIN ESTEVES: Flirting with the M&M’s
JOHNER RIEHL: I thought I did that a lot in college
NANCY COHEN: I think for a lot of kids too the potty-train during the day, comes into place sooner than they’re potty-training at night. For a lot of kids they still need to pull up at night and that’s fine, that’s not a big deal at all and usually they’ll grow out of that so really to be thinking more about day training than night training and I wouldn’t even try the M&M’s at first, I wouldn’t even try anything like, just, way to go!, wow! good for you
JOHNER RIEHL: Well that’s, I think, in general, I think it’s easy to forget and maybe it’s just me personally but as parent the rewards doesn’t even have to be anything physical, just praise in itself as a reward and attention
NANCY COHEN: Exactly. Attention. Getting attention for
ANNIE LAIRD: It must be that movie, what was that the Baby Talks, it’s the one where John Travolta and Kirstie Alley what was that. Exactly yes and once Bruce Willis’s character as baby is potty-trained they all do like a potty train like dance around the house they’re so excited about it so, does that fall into rewards too Nancy, is that necessarily a bad thing?
NANCY COHEN: No, I think that’s usually a fun thing. I think it’s great you know you’re all celebrating, Wow! This is great
ANNIE LAIRD: Look who’s talking, that’s it
JOHNER RIEHL: And, Look who’s talking too with, I believe
NANCY COHEN: And it’s also fine, you know, Johner to give him some M&M’s now and then you know, who cares, it’s no big deal, but the reality is just really trying to keep it low key and just good for you and this is great to hear you using the toilet. The other thing that happens though is some kids are doing really well and so this is the other trap that we fall into and then they regress, so they’re potty-trained, they’re potty-trained, they’re grand in the toilet, you know it’s like going really well and all of a sudden they don’t want to do it anymore.
Now they’re pooping in their pants, they’re pooping in their pants at school. When they come home they poop or they pee at home and you’re like whoa! What happened here? You know, you were trained, you we’re really doing so well going in the toilet. Well, they’re toddlers, and we have to remember that that developmental stage for some children, they regress and it’s like, “well maybe I really don’t want to be going in this direction, let me think about this.
Do I really want to be potty-trained, maybe I want to keep being a baby” And so, it’s kind of an ambivalent stage and so for some of those children, they go backwards and then we can say “You know what, it’s like you need a little more time, we’ll put you back in your pull ups for a little while and we’ll try again” And so again, do not see this as “Oh my god, some horrible thing that’s happening to your child” but that’s pretty typical that for a lot of toddlers that are going to regress and suddenly hits them that maybe I don’t want to grow up, you know, maybe I like being kind of babyish and again they’re not conscious of this but kind of that whole developmental stage of regressing a little bit and then they move forward again.
And then usually when they move forward, they’re ready. They’re really ready and they’re not going to have any accidents
MATT BOWLER: And just hope that parents don’t get mad at the regression
NANCY COHEN: Don’t get mad! Exactly! And don’t get mad, don’t punish children when they have accidents, I mean I think that’s really important to not see it as a reflection on us as parents, you know, we’re a bad parent if our kid has an accident. No. The kid is learning, it’s really a learning process and learning how to get to the toilet on time. You know for some kids they’re playing, playing, playing, playing and they’re really involved in their playing and pop, they pee in their pants, because it’s too late
ANNIE LAIRD: And that happens years later
JOHNER RIEHL: No it’s true, I mean, absolutely, and you know it happened but I think maybe if it keeps happening and that’s when you want
NANCY COHEN: Right exactly
JOHNER RIEHL: We actually have a question from facebook from Franny Estrada, she says that her son is in the potty-training stage, it does really good during the day if he’s naked from the waist down, puts like a long shirt on, but when he puts his underwear on, he constantly has accidents. So, what can she do to help the process move forward, he will be 2 on Monday and hasn’t had any accidents for two weeks until today while wearing underwear? I think I might see the answer…
NANCY COHEN: What do you think the answer is? What do you think the answer, M&M’s?
JOHNER RIEHL: M&M’s! That’s the solution for everything
ERIN ESTEVES: World peace
NANCY COHEN: What do you think?
JOHNER RIEHL: I think the fact that he is not quite to
NANCY COHEN: He’s a little young, yeah. I would keep the underpants off for a little bit while when he’s home, right, just keep him off and don’t even try again for a little while and then put the underpants on in a couple of weeks
JOHNER RIEHL: Maybe when they go out to public, should they do diapers on? So they just don’t worry about the underwear, keep them naked waist down
NANCY COHEN: At home and then use the potty at home and then put them in diapers when they go out
JOHNER RIEHL: And then I think we talked a little about regression?
NANCY COHEN: Yes, they do regress
JOHNER RIEHL: Like it’s going to happen
NANCY COHEN: For a lot of kids it does happen
JOHNER RIEHL: And so we have for a four year old, he’s still, you know when he goes poop he still needs me to wipe him. He still need the help to wipe so like, that’s kind of I guess the degree is to like they’re just going to poop on the pot it doesn’t mean they’re taking care of everything
NANCY COHEN: Exactly, they often need to be wiped until they get to preschool between four and five
JOHNER RIEHL: Great! And you guys have any more horror stories, or any other last minute advice for people taking on
NANCY COHEN: When Catherine was in the bathtub when she was about three she said to me “You know, I really wish I had a penis” and I thought “Oh my god, what have I done wrong as a mom” I said “Hmmm, really? Why is that Catherine?” she said “Well when you have a penis you can pee long and thin, but when you have a vagina, you pee short and fat and that is not as good. So, I was like “Hmm, you know what, that’s kind of true. That’s kind of true, I’m kind of with you on that one
JOHNER RIEHL: Alright on that note thank you so much, thank you so much for joining us. Sorry if you just laughed on the treadmill or something but yeah that’s really a funny story. So for more information about the potty-training mistakes and more information about our panelists or our show today, visit the episode page on our website, we’ll actually continue the conversation for members of our Parent Savers club after the show.
Nancy is going to tell us a little more about on her thoughts on alternative forms of potty-training, I kind of elude to I think early elimination communication, we’ll talk about that a little bit. So for more information about the Parent Savers club and how you can become a member, please visit our website www.parentsavers.com
JOHNER RIEHL: As we nearly end of today’s show, here’s Detective Damian Jackson on some great ways to better protect our children
DAMIAN JACKSON: Hey Parent Savers, this is detective Damian Jackson with the Escondido Police Department’s Family Protection Unit and The Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force here in San Diego, California. As part of the Escondido Police Department’s on-going series of community outreach education to help families enhance their personal safety, I’m here today to talk to you about family tree stickers on the back of your car, you know the one’s that I am talking about, why on earth do you have them on there?
Every time I’m driving behind someone that has those stickers, I want to get out of my car at the next red light, pull out a razor blade and scrape those things off the window. Of course, you’re proud of your family, who wouldn’t be? They’re the most awesome people in the world and they’re your pride and joy, so what’s the harm in having these stickers?
Let me pan a scenario for you to ponder, let’s say a local child predator spent some time driving behind you, studying the names below those stickers on your back window, I mean you have them all conveniently listed right down to the family dog, then they happen to chance across one of your children and has this little exchange with them. Billy! Billy! Oh I’m so glad I found you, you’re dog Rex got hit by a car and your mom Jennifer had to go and get your sister Alice and take her to the veterinarian.
Hop into my car real quick and we’ll call your dad Bob on the way over there. Well as you can see, what might seem like an innocent set of stickers on the back of your can open you and your family up to be victimized by predators. If a stranger walked up to you somewhere and asked you what your children’s names were, would you tell them? Of course you wouldn’t, so why would you openly advertise it at a hundreds of strangers every single day on the open road? Scrape those things off and protect your family’s privacy.
For more information on how you can help keep your family safe visit us on facebook or twitter at /escondidopolice. With the Escondido Police Department and the San Diego Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, I’m detective Damian Jackson, reminding you and your family to be smart and be safe.
JOHNER RIEHL: That wraps things up for today, thanks so much for listening to Parent Savers, don’t forget to check out our sister shows Preggie Pals for expecting parents, The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed their babies and of course Twin Talks, for parents of multiple, what do we say? Multiple, parent for multiple, what’s the tag line for that show? Parents of twins in multiples. Parenting times two or neither I got to make sure I get that in there for next week. Next week, we’ll be talking about another topic of interest for parents everywhere, this is Parent Savers empowering new parents
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.
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