Bringing Home Twins: The First Week
Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.
ROSEMARY MASON: If you’re expecting twins, do you know that you’re in for a big change from the very moment they enter the world. You may have your birth plan written, your baby nursery ready and all of your family and friends are ready for the big event but are you?
My name is Rosemary Mason and I’m a Certified Postpartum Doula. I’m also a Certified Lactation Counsellor with over 20 years of experience with multiples. Today we’ll talk about the first week. How can you transition from the hospital after giving birth to your twins? This is Twin Talks Episode 2.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: If you’re pregnant with twins or you’re an experienced twin parent, odds are you have heard it all before. Now, it’s time to hear from the experts. This is Twin Talks, parenting times two.
Welcome to Twin Talks broadcasting from the Birth Education Centre of San Diego. Twin Talks is your weekly online on-the-go support group for expecting and new parents to twins. I’m your host Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald.
Have you heard about the Twin Talks Club? Our members get bonus content after each new show plus special giveaways and discounts. Subscribe to our monthly Twin Talks Newsletter and learn about the latest episodes available.
Another way for you to stay connected is by downloading our free Twin Talks app available on iTunes and Google Play. If you’re not in San Diego, we have our Virtual Panellist Program and Sunny our producer can tell you about that.
SUNNY GAULT: Yes, hello everybody. Okay, so as you guys know: “We produced see shows in San Diego.” If you want to be a panellist, if you’re parent of twins; we’d love to have you here on the Studio. But if you can’t join us on the studio, we are encouraging you guys to become what we’re calling Virtual Panelists.
Basically, you can follow us on Twitter and you can our Facebook page. You can like our Facebook page. We’re going to be posting questions in advance before we do our tapings as some of the topics we’re going to be talking about. We want you guys’ input. You can also ask our experts questions that way.
If you are going to follow us on Twitter, we did create a hash tag for that which is #TwinTalksVP. VP stands for Virtual Panellist and it’s a great way to follow the conversation and become more part of our shows.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Great, thank you. Why do we find out a little bit about everyone we’ve got in our studio today? So, Sunny aside from being our producer; you got to tell us why you’re here.
SUNNY GAULT: Exactly! As, I mentioned; I am Sunny. I am producing today’s show. I’m following everybody on our social media here and checking out our Facebook and Twitter profiles to see what you guys are chatting about.
But, a little bit more personally about me – I am a mother. I’m pregnant currently with identical twin girls. I do have two little boys at home. I have a three year old singleton. Also a 15 month old singleton, they keep me pretty busy and I’m expecting the twin girls too.
So, to round out our hands a little bit – there’s been a lot of testosterone in the house, bringing some estrogens in here. So, I’m really excited about it. I have tons of questions regarding how to handle twins and stuff. So, I’m excited about today’s episode.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Well, thank you. Our expert Rosemary and we know you’ve got a lot experience with twins and multiples.
ROSEMARY MASON: Pretty much, I would say: “90% of my work is with working with multiples – twins, triplets, quads.” It’s a lot of fun. I love working with the multiples in the family. It’s very fulfilling, bringing those babies home; whether it’s for their first or second babies or these are their third or fourth or fifth or six.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: I am Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald. I’m the mom to twin girls. They are almost four right now. I also have a singleton who is 10 months old. So, I’ll just say: “Twins were certainly a handful still is.” I have to say: “I still have to hand it to all the moms of singletons.” Singleton is still much work
ROSEMARY MASON: It’s much work.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: It’s a lot. So, well thanks everyone and welcome to the show.
ROSEMARY MASON: Thank you.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Before we start today’s show, let’s talk about an incredible story about twins that just hit the news recently. I have to say: “I read this and it just gives me some shivers.” The story is really about there are the sad parents who were unable to conceive. They use a surrogate mother and they conceived a little boy. They are happy. He is 18 months old and they’ve decided: “We’d like to bring in maybe a sister.”
So, they went back to the surrogate mom and yes, we’d like to go to this process again. Everything happened as it should, she got pregnant with triplets and one was selectively reduced. She had twins. At the 12 week mark, she got the news that the parents decided they did not want the babies.
Parents were getting a divorce and even though they are biological parents. So, here’s the surrogate mom and I guess the paper work wasn’t in order completely. But, she just felt really strongly for these babies. When they’re born, she did not want to give them up to social services. So, she actually went ahead and adopted them as her own. I don’t know
ROSEMARY MASON: Wonderful, so sweet.
SUNNY GAULT: My goodness, wow.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, I don’t know. If you were in the situation, I just have to [inaudible], what would you be doing if you’re in place of the surrogate mom.
ROSEMARY MASON: I would be the same way. I would be adopting them myself. I think that’s one of the things that I think as all surrogates. I think that’s in the back of their mind that what happened if something goes on? It could be a number of things that could go on. Would I be able to step up and adopt these children as my own, I would think most women would say: “Yes.”
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: I have to say: “That’s a huge sacrifice.” So, it’s totally noble. I’m just so happy to think that they’ve got a home.
SUNNY GAULT: I’m confused just to – you know they have to put stuff like this on a contract right? That would imagine this is part of – in Preggie Pals, in our sister show; we’ve done an episode about surrogacy. There’s not much that is left about it.
ROSEMARY MASON: They have pretty much nailed down. Some are saying which said there’s some sort of contractual type of little thing going on either that was in place or something.
SUNNY GAULT: So, she was only 12 weeks but still, I would think that before anything’s even implanted or anything that does would
ROSEMARY MASON: Would be talked about
SUNNY GAULT: Yes.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, I don’t know. The moral of the story, I’m not sure. Even if you think you got everything lined up; you can’t be sure. But I can say: “Got to hand it to her doing a really great thing.”
ROSEMARY MASON: Exactly, maybe over like if you have single, [inaudible] parents and then they did get divorced and this happens too. They get divorced and pregnant. Mom steps up and those the same type of thing or aunt steps in or something goes on.
SUNNY GAULT: Even if the surrogate didn’t want to do it, I know that especially if this were publicized and it had been publicized; some [inaudible] who wants to get this article – that there’s a lot of parents out there that want to have kids.
ROSEMARY MASON: They could have stepped in and they could have offered: “I’ll take them.”
SUNNY GAULT: Well, at least they’re taken care off. The kids are going to be okay.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Yes. Well, today’s topic is: “Bringing home twins the first week.” It’s first of the five part series. Today, we’re talking with Rosemary Mason, a postpartum doula who’s helped many twin families. She’s going to tell us about what we can expect the first week at home and how to prepare for it. So, thanks for joining us Rosemary.
ROSEMARY MASON: Thank you ladies for having me. It’s wonderful being here.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, Rosemary; you’ve been working with twin multiple families. There’s so much in preparing for twins. What are some of the things that new parents should think about when they first take home their new born twins?
ROSEMARY MASON: I think the first thing – I think with multiples; people are really accepting being about and having helped. They think: “You’re having multiples, you need help.” When you have a singleton, you think: “You have two parents, you’ll be fine.” You have nothing to worry about.
I like to tell my parents: “This is like being on a vacation or you’re going on a big I call them Baby Moons.” It’s almost like a honeymoon. With a honeymoon, you don’t bring a lot of people with you but you prepare. You prepare anything else. So, if you’re going to say: “We’re just going on a big fancy vacation.” You know where you’re going to go. You know that you have to take care of things at home.
If you have other siblings, they’re not going on this honeymoon or babymoon with you. So, you’re going to have people help take care of them. The same thing – so, when you’re coming home; you know that you have food preparation, it’ like going to a big fancy hotel. It’s all exclusive. Your food’s right there. You want to have that prepared.
You want to think about: “Who’s going to take care of our pets while we’re on this vacation or this honeymoon?” So, that’s taken care of. So, I just like them giving the mind frame of what would you be taking care of if you’re going to be gone for a week or two weeks. You have the same type of mind frame for it. So, you want to get the food going. Food is a big deal.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Food, yes. As far as food goes, what are some of the best ways?
ROSEMARY MASON: People at the baby showers sign up and have food prep come. So, that they know that every day or every other day that’s someone’s going to bring them a dish. People out there who are brining dishes, they don’t want lasagnas the size of table tops.
So, please think of in an out of pizza; ask them what they really want because a lot of the times we have so many leftovers and people feel bad. It’s just like they’re giving food away. So, like every other day is a nice time to have these things dropped off. Don’t feel bad parents asking for help.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Definitely!. I’ve been a recipient of sort of these meal programs. It’s such a personal thing.
ROSEMARY MASON: It’s wonderful.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: It really meant a lot to me.
ROSEMARY MASON: Another good thing, it doesn’t have to be dinner things; think of breakfast and lunch. Even drop him by a sandwiches or something in the morning, burritos. It’s very helpful.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: These little snacks when you’re nursing. That’s really great – so meals and pets.
ROSEMARY MASON: Laundry and you’re coming over. I was also telling parents have a list on your table. On there is written everything you need that you would normally do since you are the mom, what would you be normally do? You would be doing laundry, be walking the dog, you’d be doing dishes; everything dusting.
If you don’t have the housekeeper that can come in and help you, put that list very prominently on your table. So, if people come in – what can I do to help? Instead of saying: “Nothing, I’m fine.” Point to the table top and say: “If you could pick one of those, it would be awesome.”
Even if it’s one way round, take out your trash. My gosh, it’s so much nicer just to pick it’s all gone. Take my dog for the walk. If you want to fix me a peanut butter sandwich, that would be great. Just don’t say: “Nothing, I’m fine.”
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: That’s great advice. Just be honest and say: “Hey, we really do need help with the little stuff.”
ROSEMARY MASON: Exactly, you would do it if your friend was pregnant and you went over there; you wouldn’t mind throwing laundry in or dance their laundry back and forth.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Right, that’s great. I know one of the things when it’s so chaotic and you’re trying to get all these things done, sleep can often be such a tough thing. There are so many things to do besides either taking care of the kids and then there’s the household; where do you get sleep in there? So, what do you recommend the parents in preserving their own sleep?
ROSEMARY MASON: It’s the same little comment that everyone says all the time: “Sleep when the baby is asleep.” We hear it over and over. People say it to you constantly. It rings through. You have to sleep when the baby sleeps. These are your first two babies then it makes it little easier only because you don’t have any other outside so much siblings and things going on.
So, we’ll just talk about: “These are your first two babies coming in.” It’s easy when you get them in. You get them fed. They will only sleep. So, as you put them down; don’t think about your e-mails and don’t think about all the little things. I should better clean out that potty or whatever.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: That’s so tempting.
ROSEMARY MASON: I know but that’s going to be there for 25 years. So, you might as well just go ahead. All that laundry stuffs could be there forever. It’s never going to get done, so you might as well and go ahead and lay down and rest for that time. It’s very important.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Great.
SUNNY GAULT: That’s a good way to look at it. I’m always thinking that that’s to do that’s not done that I can’t concentrate or let myself relaxed until my little to-do list is done.
ROSEMARY MASON: But all the stuff can be there. My kids were all grown and gone and I still have laundry. I still have dishes.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: They will always in there.
ROSEMARY MASON: They’re always going to be there. But, then be little in step is not so – I would suggest: “Just get a housekeeper for that month if you need to.” A house keeper is way cheaper than a divorce. You just going to get it in there, to get things cleaned up for you it is really important.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: That’s true. I know the stuff that’s applicable for the mom. Now, what about for the dads; because I know so often dads take time off and then they’re running around crazy too.
ROSEMARY MASON: Men are very – you have to really kind of put them out in what they need to do. You have to give them to do list. They’re very good about: “Honey, I need a sandwich at 10:00.” They’ll do it. If you just say: “I need some food.” They don’t know when it is going to be.
So, I was to my dad’s: “If you’re in there making yourself a sandwich; you might also make yourself, your wife a sandwich and bring them on in there. You’d be the best dad in the whole wide world.” I load the dishwasher or find someone who can do these type of things.
Moms need all those extra help type of things that you assume that she’s going to do but she’s not going to be. She’s feeding babies 24 hours a day. So, it’s pretty much mom and her job is to feed the babies. Everything else that goes on that house is everyone else’s responsibility.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: That’s a great mindset to have. I think at times it’s help if you have an advocate someone like yourself to explain that to friends and family who want to come over and visit, hang out.
ROSEMARY MASON: Everyone has a job to do when they have. It’s really easy to hold the babies and it’s not the families or the visitor’s job to hold babies while mom runs around and fix coffee and tea or whatever. She needs to just relax. It’s a big physical changes and stuff after you have the multiples.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Yes and speaking of that and the mom wanting to relax and recover – she’s just giving birth. We all know that it’s take a while. So, what’s the best kind of environment for twin moms to recover from giving birth?
ROSEMARY MASON: Once again, I kind of like everyone’s bedroom. That’s kind of like everyone’s sanctuary. It’s away from everybody. If visitors come, you’re not right in the middle of grand central station, the visitor station. You can just say: “Mom’s resting.” Maybe they act and bring a baby down so they can see them.
Sometimes moms in a little disarray, she’s maybe not very comfortable breastfeeding in front of a bunch of people which you’ll be doing every couple of hours. So, I think the bedroom is the best sanctuary or the guest room maybe; if it’s there available.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Definitely.
ROSEMARY MASON: Visitors out there – a 15 or 20 minute stay is all you need. You don’t need to be there for three hours. Unless, you’re chopping vegetables and making dinner, you’re picking up the trash and walking the dog; stay as long as you want. But, just to sit there in the couch and talk about your trip to where you just got is not a fun thing for this family.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Yes, so basically make sure that the mom’s got her private space where she can just go and relax and have that kind of mental and the physical down time.
ROSEMARY MASON: If she feels: “I’m so sorry. I’m tired and go.” There’s nothing wrong saying that moms.
SUNNY GAULT: Right.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Well, let’s see here. I know that we really just want to see the twin moms’ breastfeeding. It’s a challenge. It’s two. Even if one is a challenge and with the two; there’s a whole host of challenges in itself. So often that first week, getting into a rhythm and twin moms ran into some speed bumps, low supply or latching issues; so what can they do?
ROSEMARY MASON: First of all, I believe they should always have a lactation consultant on hand and they usually struck that off way in the hospital. They use and have a great lactation person in the hospital. Continue on, get some help, it’s like a brand new job or a brand new sport your learning. So, you might as well get a coach in there that’s going to help you over these little speed bumps.
I wouldn’t expect anyone in the very first week to have full milk supply for multiples. I think as moms we are kind of fallen into that trap of thinking: “I don’t have enough milk in day two.” You wouldn’t have milk by day two. You have your first milk which is your colostrums which is great for those 72 hours roughly. Usually by day four or five, maybe day six your second milk starts to come in.
So, you’re going to need lots of support at that time and not thinking you have to supplement. Unless there’s a reason why [inaudible] all kinds of different reasons – unless you’re instructed by your paediatrician that you need to supplement, there wouldn’t be any reason why not too. So, it’s just another whole thing that you’re getting into
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: I heard about different breastfeeding support groups and especially for twins.
ROSEMARY MASON: There are plenty of them out there; like I said: “You probably wouldn’t join a breastfeeding group the very first week you’re out there. You’re looking at maybe week four or week five or six that you’re going in there.” The first week, you’re just batting down the hatches and trying to survive for that first week.
So, it’s good that you already have a lactation person that you know. She’s going to come out on Day Three when I’m home to check on man. See how things are going. Have something like that lined up just like you would have food preparation or anything else, have your lactation consultant come and do that.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: That’s really great advice.
SUNNY GAULT: Rosemary, in your experience how often when it comes to breastfeeding like I keep hearing about: “If you can tandem nurse, that’s the best way to do it.”
ROSEMARY MASON: Sure, it helps to save time. You have to realize, it’s going to take you an hour whether you’re feeding them one-on-one or if you’re feeding both of them. It’s really helpful for you to get them on tandem. But, once again that first week is: “How am I going to do that?”
I’m off hands. You’re not comfortable nursing to begin with unless you’re an experienced breastfeed then it’s a little easier. Once again, we need that support whether the postpartum doula comes and shows you or the lactation person comes in and shows you. There are some little tricks of the trade that you have to learn to get them back on.
So, you want to put the one who nurses pretty easily on second. The one who takes the most time, you wanted to start with because you going to use both hands to get them on. The second one, you can pretty much scoop up and pretty much latch on and everything works really well.
But once again, there’s nothing wrong, there’s nothing twins’ breastfeeding rule book that says: “You have to do it tandem.” You can certainly feed one at a time and have one-on-one time with that baby. You can nurse the second one. So, it’s really the mom’s choice what’s working best for her and her family.
SUNNY GAULT: Right, Christine what did you do? What was your experience with that?
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: I think I realize that so much of it is really about personal comfort and sometimes everyone’s got a different shape couched.
ROSEMARY MASON: Exactly.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, some couches have arms that sit higher and others are low and so you like need two or three pillows in addition to the breastfeeding pillow. You got to just position it just right. That takes a while, a time to figure out what’s working for you. It might have one arrangement.
I’ve got a two-story house. I had one arrangement upstairs. I also have a different setup upstairs. At night time, I do kind of a sideline nursing one right after the other. Then, downstairs I do the tandem. That just came out with a little trial and error and then figuring that, that was working for me.
SUNNY GAULT: Right.
ROSEMARY MASON: I think that’s right. I think we have to realize: “There’s not one way to do something. If there’s like 15 million ways, it’s like driving to your store. You can go either 20 different ways.” Same with breastfeed, one thing about the big pillows; it’s like a rocking boat. So, you do have to stabilize that something underneath.
A lot of people don’t realize that it comes of tethers back and forth a little bit. So, there’s nothing wrong with spitting a pillow underneath them or rolling up towels and stabilizing it a little bit.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Yes, definitely. When we come back, we’re going to talk about what some of those typical daily routines might look like and discuss how twin parents can plan ahead of time.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Well, welcome back. Today, we’re talking about: “Bringing home twins the first week with Rosemary Mason.”
So, we’re just talking about the routine and how Rosemary you mentioned that so often, it’s really not that the twins’ routine that we’re trying to put in place but it’s really the parents’ routine.
ROSEMARY MASON: It’s a whole new routine. It’s a brand new, normal for this family. You’re bringing two babies in. So, once again, the first thing is we talked about: “Where in my environment? Where do I feel most comfortable feeding and nursing these babies?” That’s probably the number one thing. Everyone worries about food, food, food for parents and for the babies.
So, as soon as they find a great environment then key in the baby’s latched on which again, we’ve talked about with having a lactation person come in or postpartum doula come in or an experienced, another friend who’s an experienced with breastfeeding to help you do that part. So, you really could be feeding, feeding and feeding.
So, then it’s feeding time for everybody. Then, it’s hopefully sleeping time for everybody. As soon as everyone wakes up, everyone goes to the bathroom which is changing diapers and mom too. We start the whole routine over again.
I think that’s the most important thing is that: “You have to remember that you’re in a movie Groundhog Day.” It’s the same day over and over and just like the movie how he fights at the beginning, the end how he just embraces it and finds all kinds of things. This is how your life is going to be. The more you fight it at the beginning, the harder it’s going to be.
You just have to embrace it and love all the newness that’s going to come in, the craziness. But for some people, that’s really hard. Craziness is hard for a lot of people.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Yes.
ROSEMARY MASON: They like the control of that. I have this comfortable this way. With multiples, it changes day-to-day. One day, it’s going to be your little routine is going work out great and the next day, it just goes to pot. You’re thinking: “What did I do wrong?”
You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re working with two individual people here and you’re trying to have them join your little group here and be part of your team. They have different ideas about that, what team spirit is.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: All predictability is just completely out the door.
ROSEMARY MASON: Exactly. It really is. I think that’s the best way. Especially that first week and that you’re all learning something completely new.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, that routine that we’re talking about: “Everyone sort of sleeping at the same time, everyone eating at the same time.” What kind of cycle are we talking about every three hours? Four hours?
ROSEMARY MASON: I would say: “Probably, at the beginning once again.” It depends on their weight. Are we talking about pre mass here? Are we talking about your six pounds or are we talking about four pounds? First, you’d always go with your paediatrician’s recommendation of what they want them to do. It’s mostly about two to three hours is pretty normal.
Most newborns or most multiples are not going to be going on four hour stretches; it’s just too much for them. If you do, it’s going to be a frantic feed. Everything’s going to go crazy at that time. I’d like to tell parents: “Keep it like seamless. Keep it like you don’t want a bunch of hills and valleys.” You wanted just to flow.
So, soon as you see it’s almost been two hours and if their eyes start to flutter, they make a little sound – that’s a great time for mom to get up, go to the bathroom, get her water or have people give all that stuff to her. Get her soft position when there’s big pillow or pillows or how she’s going to nurse.
Then, have them bring the babies, get the one that takes a little more time. Get them latched on. Get the other one latched on, relaxed. She can have her little TV remote or her phone next to her but babies are very social people. They don’t really like cellphones at all.
SUNNY GAULT: They’re okay with books.
ROSEMARY MASON: They’re fine with books. It’s something about non chemical things and they will know. They’ll be squawk in if you’re trying to check your e-mail or something.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: With a lot of that routine, I think that we mentioned that the breastfeeding and now, a lot of twin moms take a hospital grade breast pump home. I was recommended by their doctor and lactation consultant and I know for myself that was part of the deal, I have it sitting next to my couch.
SUNNY GAULT: That’s my plan too, hospital grade. I’m not doing the individual stuff.
ROSEMARY MASON: No, always double pump.
SUNNY GAULT: Get the big guns.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: I remember it just took quite a bit of time working into that routine. That was probably one of the most challenging things for me. Do you have suggestions as how do you work that into the routine as part of that eating?
ROSEMARY MASON: If you’ve been instructed to pump after each feed, if you have little small babies use it because they tire pretty quickly. So, they may get on the breast for more than five or seven minutes and then they kind of tired and you’ve been instructed to go ahead and supplement with your breast milk afterwards. So, it’s going to be one of those things once again.
They’re done from nursing, you can then either let him just lay there with on your pillow or just hang out with you or just hang out with you, have your breast – all of your paraphernalia right next to you. Go ahead and just latch on and pump for the additional 15 minutes. Everything can be done right there without you getting up, if you prep stuff.
Then, once you’re done with [inaudible 00:25:15] to the side and you can put your babies in a way in bow boxes like all of them and then you get up and go eat or whatever you need to do. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Get the instruction: “How long do I have to pump; is it just for this week? I build up my milk supply.”
Once again lactation consultant comes in and observes. She weighs the baby’s first. You nurse them, she weighs them after. If everything is A-okay there isn’t any reason to continue one pumping. So, one of the reasons people I usually ask right away: “Why are you pumping?” I don’t know. I just heard you’re supposed to pump all the time.
Now, you’re adding that whole extra job that you probably don’t need. I would say: “90% of my moms’ have way great milk supply just over abundant milk supply where they had so much milk.” I think people just over estimate or underestimate their value of how much value of how much milk they can make. We’re made to make milk.
SUNNY GAULT: A little often unless you have a lactation consultant, how often are you measuring your baby before your breastfeeding session and then measuring them afterwards. So, the big question mark is: “How much are they getting?” We think that if they fuzz just a little bit that it’s because you’re not feeding them enough and then we blame ourselves.
ROSEMARY MASON: Exactly, baby’s fuzz because they’re tired too. I find more babies are over stimulated. They get a great meal then everyone wants to play with them. Everyone wants to goof with them and then they start to cry and then right away, I think they’re hungry.
It hasn’t to do with the food. It has to be they’re tire. Learn your other comfort measures like swaddling, walking and then putting them down and giving your chance a break.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: That’s great to know. We know that when we the sort of routine every few hours and sleeping at night time, what types of sleeping arrangements do you recommend for twins? That can be a little bit different.
SUNNY GAULT: I’ve heard a lot of stuff about this by the way.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: I’m really curious.
ROSEMARY MASON: It’s very tricky and once again let’s start with our partner. Where are they going to sleep? Are they comfortable in the bed with the mom? She’s going to be nursing in the bed. Is she going to be part of it where he’s getting up or partner’s getting up to go ahead, get the baby’s change them and bring them to her.
After the baby’s done nursing, is that partner going to bring them and wrap them up and put them back or is mom going to kind of co-sleep with a little bit with them and kind of relax that way? Everyone has their own little style.
There’s nothing wrong with check testing on the couple’s styles – maybe she’s going to hire a postpartum doula to come in and come in and help support her during those nights and maybe show the parents how to do this little routine at night time for them and how to sleep properly.
Now, some parents just opt after or partners just opt after a week: “All right, I’m going to the guest room and then moms: “Hurray, I have the bed to myself and I can have babies all over me.” It’s pretty easy – somewhere little Angelina Jolie type of style.
It was cute about [inaudible] article. They said: “Brad Pitt’s on the couch.” Of course, he’s on the couch. He comes home and then there are 20,000 kids on the bed – I would have felt like – so there’s nothing wrong with partner’s leaving and mom and getting their own sleep and their own comfort if they have some other support going in.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Definitely. I know a lot of people put a lot of time to decorating the nursery.
SUNNY GAULT: That’s one thing, I’m doing right now. There are creating this to my nursery.
ROSEMARY MASON: It’s simple
SUNNY GAULT: I have learned a lot with two kids already. You don’t need a lot of stuff. But these are my first girls and so, the pink will ensue.
ROSEMARY MASON: Yes, you spend way more money on the girl than you do with the boys; so, unfortunately sorry.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Absolutely, yes. It’s funny though because my husband and I, we had the letters up on the wall. We painted everything. We realized just in our case, we put them in a closely for next to our bed because there’s so much more inconvenience just to kind of just lean over and grab them.
SUNNY GAULT: But, they were your only kids at the time too.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: They were the two, yes. The two are my only kids. So, we ended up having them next to our bed for about four months. So, that is just really more to convenience. I know for other families: “Okay, we just want them further away so we can get a better night sleep.”
ROSEMARY MASON: That’s later on. The first one I agree. Those first few months, it’s easier that you’re breastfeeding or even bottle feeding; you’re still in a close by. They have little things called Rock ‘n Play – their kind of a little sling-y type of thing and they’re great especially for those new ones because it makes it feel like their being held.
Once you [inaudible] them, you put them into these things that plain flat. They’re just kind of in these like sling and they’re great if your baby has reflex or any breathing type of little issues sometimes, it holds them up.
They’re kind of like something like the car seats kind of style but they’re really soft and their made for that. They’re really portable and you can move them all around and they called Rock ‘n Play.
SUNNY GAULT: I wrote it down.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: Awesome. Thanks so much Rosemary for joining us today.
ROSEMARY MASON: You’re welcome.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: For more information about: “Bringing home twins the first week” or for more information about any of our panellists, visit the episode page on our website. This conversation continues for members of our Twin Talks Club.
After the show, Rosemary will tell us a little bit about telling identical apart, some tips on how we don’t get them mixed up. So, for more information about the Twin Talks Club, visit our website: “TwinTalks.com”
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, this is our feature for annoying comments people make to twin moms: This one is from Amanda in Rhode Island:
Taking my twins up in public; it’s frustrating and annoying if you’re on a hurry or you don’t feel well. I have eight and a half week old boy-girl twins. I clearly dress one as a boy and the other as a girl. Nut I still get: “Are they identical? They must be two boys.”
Then I get, “I’m so sorry, you have your hands full. You must never sleep.” That’s going to be expensive, bless your heart. The worst one is: “A boy and a girl – aren’t you glad that it’s one shot and you’re done.” Really, glad to know other people are making that decision for me and my husband.
CHRISTINE STEWART-FITZGERALD: So, that wraps up our show for today. We appreciate you listening to Twin Talks. Join in on the discussion by posting your comments on the Twin Talks Facebook page or calling our voice mail at 619-866-4775.
Don’t forget to check our sister shows:
• Preggie Pals for expecting parents
• The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed their babies
• Parent Savers an online support group for the new parents.
Next week, we’ll be talking about: “Annoying questions people ask about twins and how to deal with it.” This is Twin Talks, parenting times two.
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.
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