Transcript: Making Sex Comfortable During Pregnancy

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The Preggie Pals
Making Sex Comfortable During Pregnancy

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STEPHANIE GLOVER: The pregnant body goes to countless changes, hormone changes, energy levels fluctuate and extreme pains come and go. This can affect several areas of a woman’s life and activities including sex. With your body changing, how can you make sex more comfortable in pregnancy? We’ll find out how today. This is Preggie Pals.

[Theme Music/Intro]

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Welcome to Preggie Pals, broadcasting from The Birth Education Center of San Diego. Preggie Pals is your online on the go support group for expecting parents and those hoping to become pregnant. I'm your host, Stephanie Glover. Thanks all for loyal listeners who’ve joined the Preggie Pals club.

Our members get special episodes bonus content after each new show plus special giveaways and discounts. See our website for more information. Another way you can stay connected is by downloading our free Preggie Pals app, available in the android, iTunes and Windows market place. You can also download our network apps so you can access all of your favorite New Mommy Media shows on the go. Here is Sunny with more information about how you can get involved with the show.

SUNNY GAULT: So we’re doing something different here with Preggie Pals and it’s a new thing that we’re launching and we’re really excited about it, but we usually record here in San Diego and we usually all meet in the studio and gather around like a table kind of thing and chat. So we’re changing up our format a little bit so that we’re all going to be recording remotely if you will from our computers and our locations.

So what is this means for you guys? This means that for everyone who listens to the show that’s not here in San Diego, this is your opportunity to get involved and as long as you have a computer and a web cam, the ability you know, pretty good internet access, you can be part of our shows, so you don’t have to be in San Diego anymore.

So this is really exciting. There’s more information on our website. If you go to www.newmommymedia.com , there’s a big banner on the homepage. Just click the banner that talks about becoming a parent, panelist on the show, and then there’s a quick little online form that you can fill out, just gives us some more information about you so we can reach out to you when we have topics that you know, apropos to your experience. Also we have a Facebook group where we post all of our tapings and our recording times and all that good stuffs.

So wanted to throw that out there if you’ve been wanting to get involved with Preggie Pals and you’re like, “Ah, I'm on San Diego.” Guess what? You don’t need to be in San Diego anymore. That is a huge way you can get involved in our show.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Awesome. Thanks Sunny.

SUNNY GAULT: Sure.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: We’re excited about the new format for sure. Today, we have Sunny and myself as the parent panelist. So you’re going to learn more about our sex life I guess probably than you ever wanted to, right?

SUNNY GAULT: This may have to be the explicit on iTunes. I think I have to mark this is one of those higher rating…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: We’ll see where the conversation goes like us.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, let’s see.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: But we’ll introduce ourselves quickly. So again, I'm Stephanie Glover. I'm 33. I am the host of Preggie Pals and also a trained childbirth educator. No due date but I have two little girls, ages four and two. Gretchen was my C-section baby and Lithia was my VBAC.

SUNNY GAULT: All right, and I'm Sunny. I'm producing today’s show and I have four kids which means I have had sex before, and I have had sex during pregnancy. So I guess I'm qualified to talk about this. My oldest is five and I have a three year old and then, I have twins that are two.

[Theme Music]

SUNNY GAULT:  Alright, so before we dive into our topic today, we have a segment called “Pregnancy Oops” where you guys share your funny pregnancy stories, things that’ve happened during pregnancy that I don’t know, it just kind of funny and you just kind of want to embarrass yourself and tell our whole audience about it.

This one comes from Becca. Becca writes us and she says, “When I was pregnant, I always had really vivid dreams.” “Once night when I was about five months pregnant with my fourth child, I was dreaming about bugs and spiders for some reason.” Oh, it’s a girl.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So it’s just getting creepy like he just have to like structure like…

SUNNY GAULT:  Okay. “So when I woke up before I could fully focus, I looked at the ceiling and I swore there was a spider, the size of my hand off the ceiling. I leave out of bed across my husband and almost lying down my four year old who was sleeping on the floor.” I can totally relate to that because my kids like to sleep wherever they want. “My husband woke up and was like, “What the heck was that?” “And I was so scared.” “I turn on all the lights.” “I searched the whole room for that invisible spider but I never found it.”

STEPHANIE GLOVER: She was still partially in the dream.

SUNNY GAULT: She was.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: And I'm thinking what that could have been, it could’ve been a shadow.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: Or maybe like some sort of I know what else would be on the ceiling…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Like a reflection.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. Something … I don’t know, but in then you get it in your head and then you become obsessed about it and I don’t know. I feel like when I was pregnant, I was even more obsessed about that kind of stuff because you’re trying to keep yourself like safe as possible.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: And let me tell you, a spider the size of your hand is not safe. It’s just not safe. So I get you Becca. I feel you. Thanks so much for sending this Pregnancy “Oops”. If you guys have a “Pregnancy Oops” that you want us to chat about on the show, we would love to hear it. You can send us an email through our website at www.newmommymedia.com . You can also straight to the website, you can send us a voice mail, and it’s really great because you can just use the microphone on your computer, never have to pick up a phone, again, all that information is on our website.

[Theme Music]

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Today on Preggie Pals, we’ll learning about how to make sex more comfortable while you’re pregnant. Joining us today is Zoe Etkin CAPPA certified labor and postpartum doula and women sexual wellness practitioner. Welcome to Preggie Pals Zoe.

ZOE ETKIN: Thanks so much. I'm really glad to be here.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Awesome. I want to first I get start by sort of taking note that some women have an increase sex drive while pregnant and others kind of a depleted sex drive. When was furthest from your mind, the very thought of it can just seem uncomfortable. What are some ways to get in the mood while you’re pregnant?

ZOE ETKIN: Well, just think, say you know, don’t force it. If you’re not feeling it that day I think it’s important to honor yourself in that way but if it’s going to be sort of an ongoing issue with you and your partner, I think finding someone to talk about it with is a good idea. There are sex coaches and therapist that are great but I think also a lot of women need mental prep before they have sex.

You really need to feel sexy before you consider to get in the mood. So I think doing sex thing with your partner maybe throughout the day could be a good one, reading some sexy stories or watching a sexy movie, and I'm a big advocate of masturbating. I think that’s a really great way to get yourself in the mood before your partner is home from work and you’re kind of already on that sexy mind chat.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Now, out of curiosity Sunny. Here we go, right?

SUNNY GAULT: The flood gates are opening right now, and I'm worried because you were just trying about masturbating. Is this a masturbation question?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: No, no.

SUNNY GAULT: Okay.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: But, no, it was more of a sex drive question.

SUNNY GAULT: Okay, yes, yes.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So this is more on PG-13th.

SUNNY GAULT: Okay, got it.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: But how were you? Because you’ve had three pregnancies.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Was your sex drive pretty consistent throughout? And did you have a higher or lower or did it kind of stay the same as pre-pregnancy?

SUNNY GAULT: I think it was pretty much the same throughout. I’ve always been … okay, here we go. I’ve always been a pretty sexual person.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Okay.

SUNNY GAULT: And it’s not just sex. I don’t know the motional for women…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Intimacy.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s just so different for women and I love to focus on my husband. And I think for pregnant women too, you can … there’s so many things working against that, right? Because your body is changing and all of the hormones and everything that’s raising through you, everything is kind of working again at least for me, it was kind of working against getting to be intimate with my husband, but it was pretty much the same across all the bigger I got with the twins that may have been more of a factor later on just because of semantic

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right, which will go into in a bit?

SUNNY GAULT: Right.

ZOE ETKIN: Definitely.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: My sex drive was sort of disappeared with my first and I remember with my second, hoping that I would be like the horny pregnant woman the second time around.

SUNNY GAULT: Right. Looks like that second trimester, they called that honeymoon fury. . .

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I mean, everything is just better in the middle of pregnancy.

SUNNY GAULT: Right, it’s true.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: The notion goes away. You get your energy back but now, it was the same with my second too, so I just you know, plus my husband’s heart but I just like things with the things. It’s really cool

SUNNY GAULT: I'm actually … yeah, I'm surprised that it would really … I mean, after you already have a baby, there’s so many other factors, you know, I mean…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And if you’re nursing or you’re tired or you’re whatever…

SUNNY GAULT: Or you’re just trying to keep sex away from your kid like you’re limited on the times that you can have sex and be intimate.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

ZOE ETKIN: Sure.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So Zoe, now I know there are some, so let’s get into it. What would you say some of the perks of pregnant sex are?

ZOE ETKIN: Well, I think physically, the big one is going to be the increased blood flow, the increase blood flow to the uterus and the pelvis in general, so the baby actually really high-in the sensation and the vulva and vagina, so that can make everything really sensitive, and all the hormones also make it super juicy. So orgasms really become super, super awesome for pregnant moms, way more intense than normal. And not only that they feel extra good but apparently the Oxytocin is really go for your baby too.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You’re just sharing that love hormone everywhere.

SUNNY GAULT: Yes, really.

ZOE ETKIN: Yes, it’s like good for the whole family. And also, what’s pretty interesting is that semen has prostaglandin in it, and prostaglandins are hormone actually right in the cervix, so all of these orgasm and sex can really help get you sort of ready for labor which is pretty cool. And then, also I think it just helps to increase intimacy between you and your partner when you’re still navigating these challenges of becoming new parents or adding more children to your family. So I think it can really kind of ground you as a couple and bring you back to why you’re really together as if there’s connection between the both of you.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And I know for some women too who are maybe putting a lot of effort into trying to get pregnant, sex become sort of a job.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s true.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So probably once you’re pregnant, I would imagine some of that pressure just goes away too and maybe you can start enjoying it at…

ZOE ETKIN: Sure.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, I know…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: My husband and I were one of those couples that at least with our first … because we struggled with some infertility and I was uncommon and stuff … and if you’re struggling, you really don’t know if you can have kids.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: You know, if you’ve never been pregnant before you do, you just don’t know. I remember after conceiving a lot of that doubt and everything went away and not that I need to get pregnant because I was already pregnant but at least mentally. Yeah, mentally, it was easier.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And then if you’ve had a whoops pregnancy, well, you’re already pregnant, so you don’t have to be afraid of getting pregnant.

SUNNY GAULT: No more birth control for you.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, that’s what I was saying like you don’t have to worry.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: The damage has done. Let go for it.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So Zoe, earlier on, you mentioned one time about getting in the mood and it’s about all sort of feeling beautiful and embracing your new body with all these physical changes and you’re growing or maybe your skin is changing and your boobs are changing and so, what are some ways that a woman can kind of help herself feel sexy with her changing body?

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah. I mean, I think you know, this is kind of come to my background but I think first, we have to recognize that there’s really big cultural component of why some American women don’t feel sexy when they’re pregnant, some may think that the culture really tells us that sexuality in motherhood are not mutually exclusive, you can’t be both roles unless it’s sort of from a male gauge of like no. So you know what I mean? So you really have to tell ourselves that it’s okay to be sexualized person and a mother at the same time and I think that extends into the postpartum for sure.

So I think it’s a mindset changed first but it’s also really fun to sort of mix up your routine. We kind of getting to view sexual routines with our partner, I mean, it’s good to mix it up by maybe spending some time, getting ready before your husband gets home from work for you know, and maybe you’re planning a date let’s say and you spend that time during the date, getting your nails done, getting your hair done, really got chilling up and then have your husband pick you up down stairs like don’t have him from inside and do the whole like normal, getting home from work thing like really make it like it’s a date like you used to have when you didn’t live together.

And I think that can sort of adds up the excitement and also just make you feel like it’s a real date and hot guy is coming to get you. And I think that can really be a nice way. And then having some curly text during work and just sort of building that excitement for the evening I think can really help.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I love that tip and I think it’s really interesting what she said about the social maybe expectations of motherhood in sexuality because I distinctly remember with each pregnancy when I was showing at the point of just a really round belly and the wattle and all of that feeling like I'm never going to feel sexy again, knowing that my body was going to get smaller again but that I was going to be a mom and I didn’t even know how to recognize those feelings. No one ever told me that or you know, but I remember even my second pregnancy, I mean, clearly I got pregnant again. We have some sex after I lost weight like whatever, right?

But again, that the same thoughts came back in my mind of about being fearful that like, well, I never going to feel sexy now after this one, and I hadn’t really thought about that until you said that there were some societal influences.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, I really see that for a lot of people and I think that for whatever reason our culture kind of puts pregnancy in just like a sexual fussy bubble and you know, this is wonderful to become a mother and then this is very fussy feeling but it’s also essentially sexual, I mean, being pregnant is the result of sex.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

ZOE ETKIN: So we cannot forget that.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s very ironic. The whole thing is…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ZOE ETKIN: It really is, yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And I think part of being comfortable too is knowing what to expect so that you’re not surprised. I think you know, comfort and relaxation go hand and hand. So what might be some specific pregnancy related new onesies to sex that a woman maybe should prepare herself for, like either during sex or right after sex?

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah. I think it’s important to remember that with all of that extra blood flow and hormones, vaginal lubrication might be significantly increase like be surprise…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ZOE ETKIN: By how lubricated you become. Sex strive like we’ve said earlier is usually highest around the second trimester because everything just sort of feels better. You’re not just any more hopefully you’re not so big towards the end where things are still manageable so you can kind of still navigate to any position.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You’re not looking over at your partner saying, “You did this to me.”

ZOE ETKIN: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: And just try the third trimester from now on.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, exactly. And even before you get birth, your breast could weak so that’s a possibility your center of gravity is different, so you might be sort of outbalanced or some positions that you might have liked before, orgasm can be super powerful at this time and sometimes cause some crumping, so that’s something to be aware of but those are sort of the main ones.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Sunny, did you ever experience sort of any sexual side effects when you’re pregnant?

SUNNY GAULT: Well, when we’re talking briefly about leaky breast, I have … and you guys, it mean like I don’t want to know all its best Sunny. I can’t remember what side it was. I mean to right or my left but it like routine with like every single one of my pregnancies I get about 32 weeks, so it starts to lactate, just one side because you know, I'm left sided like…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Aren’t we all.

SUNNY GAULT: But that was kind of, I'm not a big fun of leaky boobs. That’s not something that makes me feel sexy but that was one thing you know, in our little…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Would you just like wear like a breast pad then and keep the bra on or would you just kind of let it go?

SUNNY GAULT: Well, it depends on the day. So I was going on in public, yeah, I probably would wear a pad of sorts.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah. And I remember too, sometimes after sex, you might have a little bit of bleeding but it’s like an older blood, just like kind of brownish and have that can be normal but of course if there’s any red bleeding then you should address that with the…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, definitely, and it’s generally safe to be having sex on pregnancy as long as there’s not just having a risk for preterm labor.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

ZOE ETKIN: Because since you are stimulating the hormones you know, that’s something to consider but generally speaking these are all normal to the side effects that could happen from a healthy couple having sex.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yes, and typically too when you’re at risk then your care provider would be telling you no sex, and I’ve had some friends who are kind of like yeah, sorry like you can’t have any…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, you’ll know.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah, you’ll know. Great. When we come back we’ll go over on recommended sexual positions for maximize comfort in pregnancy. We’ll be right back.

[Theme Music]

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Welcome back. Today, we’re talking on Zoe Etkin, women sexual wellness practitioner about making sex comfortable during pregnancy. So let’s jump right in now and talk about sexual position. Now, we’re over the radio, so there’s no demo.

SUNNY GAULT: Although, I have to say to you guys and I did not plan this but I'm starting to eat a banana.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: All this talk.

SUNNY GAULT: I'm pealing a banana and I'm like, oh, well.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I should’ve brought less sexual snack.

SUNNY GAULT: Perfect today.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Awesome. With the growing belly you know, can kind of get in the way as we get bigger and bigger. What sexual positions do you recommend to sort of keep the belly out of the way?

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, I mean I think the most obvious is going to be the rare entry position, the traditional doggy style is great, spooning is also great if you’re not feeling like you want to put the pressure on your arm, standing and leaning over to something like the back of the couch or a table or the counter I think in common, those can all be good.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Those are for first time parents.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, that’s if you don’t have kids already.

ZOE ETKIN: That’s if you don’t already have kids . . .

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Or they’re locked in their room.

SUNNY GAULT: Enough time.

ZOE ETKIN: Yes. And then the other one would be to have you guys sit on a chair and you can sit on his laps facing away, you know, it’s kind of a nice one too.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And so, you mentioned lying down in like the spooning position and I think that was a good tip too because I mean, I assumed that missionary would just be super awkward but also you’re not supposed to lay on your back right after like…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, it’s not recommended at the end of pregnancy.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right, so are there any other than like the spooning position? Are there any other that could kind of incorporating like lying down because you know, we’re tired when we’re pregnant, maybe we don’t want to be like reverse cowgirling it up.

SUNNY GAULT: Or we could squish our husband underneath us as if we’ve been on top?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Like I'm just going to lay here, all right? But are there any lying…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah and just kind of take the bags for you and let’s some do work and yeah, since it’s not recommended to lean on your back. Other positions were you actually face each other because sometimes you don’t want to not fear partner all of the time.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

ZOE ETKIN: Would be to sit on the edge of the bed actually and use a bunch of pillows to prop yourself off a bit and then have your guy stand.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Okay.

ZOE ETKIN: And that’s one way you can face each other but you still have enough sort of being propped up but it’s not going to be uncomfortable. And then, spooning face to face when the belly is a little bit smaller is probably all going to be possible for some people depending on flexibility, and what not.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right. And then, when we’re talking about center of gravity changing, so clearly when you’re standing, I would assume you need to be having something you can hold on to … we don’t need any face plans.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, that would be bad.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, definitely. I think standing up and facing the wall, with their hands on the wall sort of like I'm getting pressed…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: In the way you are.

ZOE ETKIN: I wouldn’t do that in the shower though because that’s a good place usually for standing position, but I think while you’re pregnant, kinds of slippery in the shower, I would be really careful about that.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Or if it’s hot you know, and yeah.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, that too.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah, when I was researching for this episode, what did they call that one like the first one … I had someone website call it like the police or like your browsing position or like the police position, I was like, what is that.

ZOE ETKIN: Definitely exactly which are important…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Like, I don’t want to get a rest on this.

SUNNY GAULT: Well, I know where your hands go but I don’t really understand the rest of it. I'm trying to visualize this. It’s just like just spread on kind of thing.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah, kind of at a bingo, right? Like sort of…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah, we got to have…

SUNNY GAULT: So it kind of has to be a little bit below you to kind to do that…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Below and behind and…

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, depending on the high of both of you, you know, the guy will probably have to bend his knees but it can be a sexy one because he can put his hands on your wrist and kind of hold you to the wall, so that could be exciting.

SUNNY GAULT: You should see the hand motions that we’re doing. It was like below but behind and then you lift up…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Sort of ashamed, we’re not videotaping those conversations because we’re like…

ZOE ETKIN: I know, right.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: A little spastic with our moves right now.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s true, it’s true.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Okay. So Sunny, were there any go to positions for you that you’ve found comfortable or?

SUNNY GAULT: I have to be honest with this even though I'm a very sexual person, my husband fell in the category of I don’t want to hurt the baby, so we didn’t have a lot of sex even though I felt like it times my sex drive really peak and whatever, he was just really nervous about that. For me, I can’t really enjoy sex if my husband isn’t enjoying it like that’s just not fun for me. I don’t know. More of an emotional thing for me, and so, I can’t really say we have tons and tons of experience with different positions and stuff.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: If we did do it, it was usually earlier on and then once, I think he could see the bump then he started to freak out a little bit, so I would say sex really didn’t change that much for us because it was a small bump and you can still kind of get away with whatever you normally did.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right, yeah. I'm trying to remember really but I think that we probably did stand and I think we did do it in the shower. That really annoyed me. I'm sure been uncomfortable but it was because probably that was not, you know, it was like slippery and like I didn’t dress.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So I think that that’s a good point to sort of if you’re going to be in that position, just do it outside of a slippery environment.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Okay, and I'm sort of speaking slippery. I have to just comment on this because I remember when you’re talking about the extra lubrication, my cousin, it was funny, I was like newly pregnant and we were talking about, you know, there’s some side effects, and she’s like, “I have one word to describe pregnancy.” I said, “Okay.”

SUNNY GAULT: What?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And she’s like, “Moist.”

SUNNY GAULT: Moist.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And there’s … and why we would all like that or you know, she’s like, “It’s just moist.” I'm like, “Oh, yeah, I get it now.”

SUNNY GAULT: That reminds of like Mel dough moist. When you say some things moist or at least you’re talking about cake.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And we are even drinking.

SUNNY GAULT: We’re not. We joke that we should be drinking while doing this episode but maybe this banana strikes…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Okay, so in early pregnancy, in particular you know, some women find sort of no or suspected that they’re pregnant because of changes in breast such as tenderness and engorgement and what not. I know that that can be a tender area for women throughout pregnancy especially in the beginning. So Zoe, do have any tips on sort of how to help the breast just come forth during pregnancy, I mean during pregnant sex?

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, I think just you know, even though, maybe you can be in missionary position I think avoiding it in the first trimester when they’re release [inaudible] it can be helpful, or just not doing sort of the traditional missionary with the guy putting all of his weight on top of you, so what you can instead if you still want to be sort of in that position is to have the guy actually on his knees with your legs up either in his hands or on his shoulders or your feet on his chest and that can actually keep him … you can sort of control him a little bit and not let him smooch you. And also just letting your partner know and I think telling them what is and what is uncomfortable because communication is really key in all of this. I think just having that conversation is important.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Probably particularly if you that your partners kind of a boob man then talking about it before you engage because probably like the worst thing to do is like bat someone away during or either kind of panic him at that moment, but so I would still talking about that probably…

SUNNY GAULT: Well, because they’re going to take it personally.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: I mean and then we would too if he did that.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: But if you’re just sort of like I'm totally in to this but as we move forward, just stay away from this area.

SUNNY GAULT: These are the [inaudible] in those area.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, it’s like go for the butt instead.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah. That’s awesome. Do you have any other like additional comfort tips that maybe we haven’t touched on for pregnant sex that we’re maybe missing?

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, the liberator pillow can actually really helpful all the time for sex but I think it’s particularly helpful in pregnancy, and you can use any type of pillows that you have just sort of packing things so that you’re comfortable with those. Liberator is actually made from a sex toy company so that…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Describe this pillow.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, tell us more about…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: We don’t know about this liberator.

SUNNY GAULT: Prey tell, prey tell.

ZOE ETKIN: The liberator comes in a couple of different shapes but the most common one I think sort of their main one is a wedge shaped and you can use it to kind of propped up your pelvis for different positions or you can lean over it, but it can just help get support because you know, especially if we’re talking about doing a lot of doggy style in pregnancy, that can make your arm so tired, right? And you don’t want to end up with your face just like shoved them through pillow, so if you some…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Baby needs oxygen.

ZOE ETKIN: Just always check under you, it keeps you a little bit more comfortable.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Interesting.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah, and then, also I was thinking we hadn’t early talked about it but oral sex and mutual masturbation are sex too and these certain positions are now becoming very comfortable anymore and all you can do is just sort of be there you know, I think standing and having your partner go down on you. It’s totally great. I highly recommend doing that if things are not happening in sort of penetration department.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Well, I think that’s a great point too for the men who are afraid that they’re going to like poke the baby.

ZOE ETKIN: Yeah…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, it’s really for…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You know, just feel strange about entering at a certain point in the pregnancy…

SUNNY GAULT: Just watch the moisture down this. There’s a lot of moisture already. We want to pat it dry.

ZOE ETKIN: Just sort of on that point of poking the baby, it’s really not possible. I know they get so scared but the cervix is going to be at least two inches thick before labor begin, so there’s a lots of padding in there before you get to the baby.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah, and its face towards the back and yeah. They’re not going to get to it but they think they can and that’s cute too. They think they can get to it. All right, well, this wraps up our episode of Preggie Pals for today. Thank you so much Zoe for all of your input I know that this is going to help a ton of couples. So for more information about our show as well as information about our expert, visit the episode page on our website. This conversation continues for members of the Preggie Pals club. After the show, we’re going to talk about sex as a way to progress labor which we briefly touched on, and how to make it us comfortable as possible on that process.

[Theme Music]

SUNNY GAULT: So we have a segment here on Preggie Pals called Pregnancy Brain Blunders and it’s where you guys share the funny I don’t know pregnancy brain moments that you’ve had throughout your pregnancy. We all get to laugh about it.

So this is a funny story comes from Hannah. And Hannah wrote this and she says;

“I was looking through some stuff.” “I was looking for some stationery when I came across a random piece of paper that read, “Thanks for last night, P.S. don’t tell your wife.” This is just totally apropos to our conversation today. And she says, “Well, naturally, I lost my mind and came running to my husband, ready to commit a crime of passion.” “He just starts laughing after I went off on him and reminding me that I had written it and left it at his place when I left one morning before we lived together.” “I looked at it and it was undeniably my own handwriting.” ”Yes, I almost murdered my husband for cheating on me with me.”

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Was he married before?

SUNNY GAULT: No, they were just … do you know how to say funny stuff like that.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Like they you know, and they probably were engaged or something like that like don’t tell your wife.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Got you. I thought it was funny.

SUNNY GAULT: But like she totally forgot it. Honestly, my husband and I did funny stuff like that before we got married. And if I would’ve come across to know like that now, and especially like again in pregnancy brain, you’re not thinking clearly anyway.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right and you’re extra emotional.

SUNNY GAULT: So emotional. Oh, my gosh, so funny. So Hannah thanks so much for sending us and we’d love to get your pregnancy brain blunder. If you have one you want to share with us, send us an email through the website and we’re getting on a future show.

[Theme Music]

STEPHANIE GLOVER: That’s wraps up our show for today. We appreciate you listening to Preggie Pals.

Don’t forget to check out our sister show:
• Newbies for newly postpartum moms
• Parent Savers for parents with infants and toddlers and
• Twin Talks for parents with multiples.
• Boob Group for moms who breastfeed

This is Preggie Pals, your pregnancy you way.

[Disclaimer]
This has been a New Mommy Media production. The information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. While such information and materials are believed to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, medical advice or care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

SUNNY GAULT: New Mommy Media is expanding our line-up of shows for new and expecting parents. If you have an idea for a new series, or if you’re a business, or organization interested in joining our network of shows through a co-branded podcast, visit www.NewMommyMedia.com.

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