Transcript: The Nesting Instinct During Pregnancy

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Preggie Pals
The Nesting Instinct During Pregnancy

Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.

[00:00:00]

[Theme Music]

Jennifer Schere : If you are pregnant and you are feeling the needs to clean up the garage, reorganize the sack drawer or spend countless hours speaking the perfect pain for the new nursery, you are not alone. I am Jennifer Schere, a Clinical Psychologist specializing in women’s issues and today we are exploring this pre-labor ritual also known as your “Nesting Instinct.” This is Preggie Pals, Episode 31.

[Theme Music/Intro]

Sunny Gault : Welcome to Preggie Pals, broadcasting from the Birth Education Center of San Diego, I am your host Sunny Gault. Do you have a pregnancy question for a team of experts, call our Preggie Pals Hotline at 619-866-4775 and we will get your questions answered and we will also include it in our future episode. We are also searching for unique and powerful birth stories to share with our listeners, if you would like to share your stories simply visit https://www.preggiepals.com/submityourstory and send us some initial information. And well on our website click on our section and learn all about the Preggie Pals club, you will get all of our archived episodes, bonus content after the show, transcripts and much more. Okay, we have a couple of panelists joining us here one is in the studio and one is over the phone so, let’s start here in the studio, Stephanie tell us little bit about yourself.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Hi, I am Stephanie Saalfeld, I am 29 years. I am Gemologist, due January 9th with my first baby, a girl and we are having hospital birth.

Sunny Gault : Okay and Lindsey is joining us over the phone, Lindsey tell us about yourself.

Lindsey Atkinson : Hi, I am Lindsey, I am 26 years old, I am an Administrative Assistant for a business. And we are planning a home birth with our first baby, due December 16th and it’s a girl.

Sunny Gault : Alright and where are you calling from Lindsey?

Lindsey Atkinson : I am from Maine.

Sunny Gault : From Maine and how is your pregnancy going on so far, pretty good?

Lindsey Atkinson : So far, yeah it’s been super easy, I don’t have any complications I have been really lucky.

Sunny Gault : That’s awesome and have you experienced the nesting instinct yet in your pregnancy?

Lindsey Atkinson : Yeah, this is funny because everybody else talked about nesting and that might be a sign going into labor but I am kind of a chronic nester I think, my husband always agrees. I do it all the time every day, I am constantly organizing things so, it’s kind of hard to tell us the new instinct or it’s just by nature in general kicking into high gear but,

Sunny Gault : I feel the same, we are just organized women what can I say? Okay, we are gonna talk more about that after the break.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segments: The Best Pregnancy Apps]

Sunny Gault : So we had a chance to review a pregnancy app, the app is called Numerology Baby Namer and this particular app is available on the iPhone, I believe it’s $2.99 if you want to purchase it. So, here is the thing I don’t know lot about numerology, okay but I love baby names, I am one of those crazy women that you know, I find out that I am pregnant you know, I am you know, only 4 weeks pregnant and I am like “what am I gonna name the baby?” Names mean a lot in our family you know, obviously I have more unusual name and I grew up with that so, I placed a lot stock in names just because I really enjoyed my name growing up. And some names are big deals so I was really excited to test this out, Stephanie you had a chance to test this out, what were your initial thoughts?

Stephanie Saalfeld : I did, well we do not have a name yet for our baby girl it has been tough.

Sunny Gault : Seriously.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Yes, it’s the hardest decision I think so far and yeah, because names means so much.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Stephanie Saalfeld : And I don’t really follow numerology and I don’t know whole lot about it but you know, we have liked some of the names but we were thinking about some of them were like “Oh! Well may be I don’t wanna name her that” you know, it’s like being stubborn and strong. And I am like well, she is my daughter that, that she is gonna be that anyway I don’t know her name, I don’t know if I wanna add that name.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Stephanie Saalfeld : But we are using only one middle name so, the middle name and obviously the last name are set. So, it’s funny to kind of read those things and I even put in my own you know, my own,

Sunny Gault : I did that too, to see if it was, yeah. Alright, right.

Stephanie Saalfeld : And I mean it was fairly accurate you know, I don’t know how,

Sunny Gault : I know, I was actually really surprised because it’s one thing if you are putting in information all about your kid because you don’t know what your kids gonna be like. So, is it right, is it wrong you don’t really know.

Stephanie Saalfeld : The due date is supposed to be their actual birth day so, exactly that’s not super accurate either.

[00:05:08]

Sunny Gault : And, and I guess we should kind of explain because I had actually gone online to see what numerology was because I think that app doesn’t necessarily really explain the background of numerology and stuff.

Stephanie Saalfeld : It should.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, it should and it does have kind of a pretty lengthy background as far as it being used around history. But numerology is basically using your date of birth and in this case the number of characters in your baby’s name to determine what type of personality they are going to have. So, I don’t necessarily abide into the whole thing numerology I have to admit but it’s kind of one of those fun things to do kind of like “Oh! I am having a girl or boy well you know, is my pillow facing north end of my house or the south.” It’s one of those things that I don’t put a lot of stock into it but it’s a fun I think it’s kind of fun for everyone else too.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Yeah, my husband and I have a few giggles.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, yeah Lindsey, Lindsey I would love to get your take on this.

Lindsey Atkinson : We did download the app and my husband is kind of a non-believer, I am kind of convinced into anything if you give me enough cool information about it. But we do have a name fixed out we had it for a long time and my husband just said it one day and we were like “yeah, that’s it that’s gonna be the name and there was no more discussion.” But it’s been a surprise to the family so that’s a point of contention we are not telling anybody.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Lindsey Atkinson : But we put it in and you know, it’s one of those things were like Stephanie said “we don’t know the baby yet so that’s hard to tell it’s accurate or not” but I do read a couple of instructions to my husband so, yeah that’s gonna be our kid for sure. And it seems like it was kind of a mix in his personality in mind but I definitely think it’s something fun if you have name fixed out you need to start thinking about you know, what her personality is gonna be like? And what she is gonna like and not like but,

Sunny Gault : Alright, but we have also asked some of our listeners to test out this app and here is what they have to say.

Randy Robinson : Hi, Preggie Pals this is Randy Robinson, I have had a fun time with this, I have no idea how accurate it is that they have done the background thing with numerology. But we typed our son’s name and we were happy to hear all the different shades of his name and it was really fun and I give it 5 stars, Thanks, bye.

John : Hi, Sunny this is John, Numerology Baby Namer is like one of the pre pregnancy products it’s not knowing necessary but it can afford a little bit of fun, it’s part of the process having a baby. But what I like about it is it’s got a pretty extensive list of names and you can quickly see what is the meaning of them all. What I didn’t like is it had a pretty basic way out due date functionality didn’t work out. Numerology Baby Namers is fun in kind of the way that the horoscope is fun I wouldn’t begrudge parents that bought this app, you know, looking to have a little bit of fun but I definitely wouldn’t say that Numerology Baby Namers is an app that connects me.

Sunny Gault : Well, we definitely wanna thank everyone that tested out this app for us keep in mind Preggie Pals now has a free app it’s available on the Amazon and iTunes market place. It’s great for moms on the go because it automatically updates with the latest episodes and it even allows you to connect with the show through our social networking sites. So, be sure to check it out.

[Theme Music]

Sunny Gault : Today we are learning all about the nesting instinct, Jennifer Schere is joining us here in the studio. Jennifer is a Clinical Psychologist, specializing in women’s issues, Jennifer welcome to the show.

Jennifer Schere : Thank you, it’s good to be back.

Sunny Gault : Okay, so let’s talk about this nesting instinct first of all is it even an instinct we say that but do all mothers get this, what is it?

Jennifer Schere : No, all mothers do not get this. But for those who do and get it very strongly I think the word instinct fits very well.

Sunny Gault : Is it kind of like mothers instinct, is it kind of along those lines to say “Oh! That’s mothers instinct like I know something that’s gonna happen or I know how to do this just because I am female.”

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, I think it’s instinctual in the sense of like a deep driven need that kind of bubbles up and it’s organized around wanting to prepare for the baby and really helping to ensure that you have got an environment where your baby can thrive. So, in that sense it’s very biological primitive and instinctual.

Sunny Gault : Okay, that makes sense, do men get this as well?

Jennifer Schere : You know we don’t associate the word nesting with men in a way my husband does so.

Sunny Gault : Really?

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, but I believe exactly like you said that there is a deep feeling like for men as well you know, sometimes it’s about the organization and or financially everything or,

Sunny Gault : Yeah, finances.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, but it’s still about mom and dad really been driven to prepare that we are ready for baby.

Sunny Gault : Alright, Lindsey how does your husband reacted? Do you think he has ever experienced the nesting instinct?

[00:10:07]

Lindsey Atkinson : I asked him about that actually but he wasn’t nesting at all we, our whole house we tore down last year we have been renovating so, our nursery is literally is still rock, Oh! My god. But now we are kind of down to the wire we have got 7 weeks last I think he is starting to feel the pressure. But he said that he thinks that men nest but that they have a due date in mind so it’s like any other project at work or anything else. He is like “I have the due date in my and as long as I get everything done by that date in my mind it’s always fine.” I think this whole time I have been kind of running around and organizing random drawers and everyone else find me out you know, in the garage, going through my gardening supplies for no reason at all. But he has definitely got more goal but he is getting ready I think and I definitely think it’s instinctual too you know,

Sunny Gault : Yeah, yeah. Jenifer what is the goal of nesting whether our body is doing and why?

Jennifer Schere : Well, there is the biological goal and psychological as well and a lot of times they are aligned. We just talked about it’s pretty much a need drive to prepare for the baby in terms of ensuring that you have got home environment that we know our baby will be safe and protected and can grow and thrive. Psychologically there is lot more layers of course one is about all the investment in preparing for what the baby’s needs are gonna be. There is also a lot of activity going on for men and women to ensure that they have got some control of what feels very out of control and very uncertain. So, the more concrete things you can actually do you know, the better you can feel so, it feels like you are working towards you know, helping in this process in doing the best you can as a, to be parent. And also psychologically a lot of times there is an element of nesting that’s about mom and dad you know, tying up loose ends, organizing a previous chapter in your life, a lot of cleansing in order to create more psychic energy in room for this new role of parent.

Sunny Gault : I was gonna say that one of the things that I experienced that I don’t know if this is nesting per say but it happened I believe with both pregnancies and that is, I would get up in the middle of night because I had a hard time sleeping anyways but this is even earlier in the pregnancy. I would get up in the middle of night and I wouldn’t like go around like cleaning stuff but it was more organizing the thoughts in my head you know, it was doing stuff on the computer and at that time I was planning for all the shows you know, the launch of Preggie Pals and Parent Savers and the Boob Group and there was a lot to do. And in my head I just had to wrap my brain around everything and figure out what my next steps were, it wasn’t like a physical thing for me but my husband was like why you need sleep? Why are you getting up in the middle of the night and for me it was just like I, it’s like I am waking up after I had you know, ten hours sleep, it’s just, it felt instinctual.

Jennifer Schere : And it also sounds like it felt energized.

Sunny Gault : Oh! Yeah, I had tons of energy.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, I know lot of people talked about that feeling like all of a sudden this burst of energy.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah and I think it’s exactly you know, what you are describing that, that even if it is not specifically organized around the baby to be. There is a lot energy going on in terms of us integrating what’s happening to us and were we are going and what we want to accomplish.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, Lindsey what are some of the ways that you have experienced instinct?

Lindsey Atkinson : Well, I make a lot of lists, I do that all the time but it’s all been list about getting the house ready that is even more getting the house physically right because we are having a home birth. So, every night before I go to sleep we were running through with okay, we need some towels and we need to order this and I need to go the store and get that and be prepared for the home birth, for the midwife to have everything they need. But I definitely think there is something to what Jennifer said about the emotional tying up of the loose ends too because a lot of them seems like that I have been doing just been going through old files, I have been going through old plastic photos of high school, diploma, certificates and pictures. So, I think there is definitely something to assessing where you have been in your life and then it is also kind of closes those chapters and gets you ready for the new chapter. And then obviously as I get closer to the birth I just want the house to be clean and I just wanted to be ready for the baby, I don’t want her to be any tough on the floor because I hate the idea of her crawling on the floor and getting passed and things like that. So, it’s both difficult and emotional I think for sure.

Sunny Gault : What are some of the symptoms would you say, Jennifer of nesting like how would women recognize? We talked about the sudden burst of energy, are there other signs we said it didn’t have to be related specifically to the baby which is a kind of news to me because when I think of nesting I think of “Oh! My Gosh” you know, like in Lindsey’s case, “I have to get the nursery ready” which is like sheep rock. Alright, but what are some of the other symptoms that we experience?

[00:15:16]

Jennifer Schere : Well, first let’s not call it symptoms.

Sunny Gault : Like it’s a disease, right?

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, these are behaviors that ate us in a wonderful way I mean, typically it is focused on baby’s stuff that’s, that’s more obvious and I think universal.

Sunny Gault : Are these making room for babies?

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, like we were talking about tying up loose ends.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, like some of the women talk lot about you know, clearly the nursery but a lot of times there is like, there is a specific feeling or need of women is trying to get the exact tone of the paint or, or the organization has to you know, you do it over and over because just trying to fit almost like a pathetic sense of what feels right.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : And you know, again biologically we are driven into perfect you know, the environment for the baby you know, for survival.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : But you know, on an emotional level we wanna make sure that we are not you know, just pleasing unnecessary anxiety I think in these little behaviors.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : You know, to try it out you also have big textures you know,

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : You know, when you are doing it and I think the doing is great you are investing in the process. But you know, if it becomes a little overwhelming or excessive to be able to take that step back.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : And know like Okay, it makes sense to get what I am doing this you know, it’s all, it’s all in the good of being a wonderful parent.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, I mean one of the behaviors and this, I think this is kind of talking about this you could potentially get you know, the tentative stuff.

Jennifer Schere : Alright.

Sunny Gault : It’s like how said, like I have to have that exact paint color and it may take our partners to say “listen crazy moments, back off.” It doesn’t have to be so exact or whatever.

Lindsey Atkinson : I just always think the husbands are good on things for that too because a couple of times my husband has sound to me like pouring over the tiny little details of the nursery like what color the shelf over the changing table is gonna be? And I can’t get off of it and he finally has to say “Lindsey, the baby doesn’t care if the shelf is pink or green. She is just gonna enjoy it” you know, like I just, it’s almost like I am having this house guest. And it’s the most important house guest and I am trying to set the room perfectly for her and he has to remind me like “she is a new born as long as you feed her and change her diaper she will be pretty happy.”

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : You know, I wanna add because “Oh!” what you are saying is so true in terms of like using the word perfect you just want to it to be perfect. And you know, one of the things I am working with women especially during postpartum periods and, and again during the pregnancy is you know, let’s examine the perfectionist, the equality, the standard you know, that you are projecting and putting out for yourself because you know, that’s, that’s what we want, we want to feel good. But I think getting it right for yourself as a mom even though baby is not gonna affected at this point for yourself is very important because that’s part of empowering yourself, it’s part of working into this new role and feeling good an competent about it. But again if, if we are going through perfection we get lost in that, that’s when you know, partners are so helpful to say “take a step back” you know, “you are gonna be great even if it’s not exactly the way you are visioning” you know, and that’s, that keep happening over and over as a mom were everything you project you know, you got to modify.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : So, it’s like you know, it’s practice.

Sunny Gault : Now, can the nesting instinct to happen for each pregnancy or is it we mainly talk anything about nesting moms?

Jennifer Schere : Oh! That’s a great question.

Sunny Gault : Because I think it would be you have more may be excitement maybe that’s a wrong word but there is a lot more unknown.

Jennifer Schere : You know, the first time it’s all new.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : You know, I think, I think nesting and I think this preoperational process and you know, psychologically reorganizing self I think that can take place with multiple pregnancies because each ones are different experience, as a women you have different point in your life.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, you are coming to motherhood with already having kids with you if there are so many more dynamics like they get thrown in there.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : So, this is a process that I think you know, again for some women they never really experience it as in this way we are describing and there is something wrong with that.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : But many, many women I think this is something that you did it over and over.

Sunny Gault : Well and that’s a good point because I do feel that I experienced the nesting instinct well during both pregnancies but they expressed themselves differently. I think the first time around I was planning a nursery, I was trying to figure all that out and you know, I knew I was having a boy. So you know, all this sports equipment had to be perfect in there and you know, everything had to match perfectly and I needed that certain dust ruffle thing under the bed, bumper and all this stuff you know, does completely little crux and they don’t even use. But it was important to me then but then the second time around my life had changed, we were in the process of moving so I couldn’t really decorate a nursery so, I think maybe that’s why I shifted to more of a what do I have control over, okay I am planning this business, I am planning this opportunity and I think may be for me it was a mental shift from physically doing things at the first pregnancy. And then mentally trying a process and everything because there wasn’t anything I could do physically.

[00:20:54]

Jennifer Schere : Yes.

Sunny Gault : You know.

Jennifer Schere : You know, I think there is a burst of creative energy but a lot of women talked about it also your, there is an excitement and a momentum in itself as you are shifting. And I think it does you know, a lot of women they are new ideas and parts of self that take birth during pregnancy. So, so when we talked about it being not necessarily organized around you know, the baby’s room,

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : But you really listen to your own creative impulses and it might you know, inform you about new parts of yourself you want to explore.

Sunny Gault : Alright. Well, in the sense I was kind of giving birth to numerous things at once it was my baby, it was a new house and what that looked like is a new project in my life. So, there were a lot of things going on but then I also think we talked about this earlier that you can’t take too far and that’s something that I definitely want to touch on after the break because we know that nesting helps to prepare us for your arrival of our little one. But is there a down sight to this and how do we recognize those symptoms will explore all that when we come back.

[Theme Music]

Sunny Gault : Welcome back today we are talking about the nesting instinct and joining us is our special expert Jennifer Schere, she is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in women’s issues. So, Jennifer we talked about this a little bit in the first part of our show but wanna explore this so, I wanna dive a little deeper into this. So, we know nesting is a great way to prepare ourselves for the baby mentally, physically and all that good stuff but we can push this a little too far, alright. We talked a little bit about our partners coming in and saying “hey, they are crazy persons” you may not wanna call your partner crazy by the way, just think that. But anyways you may wanna back off a little bit because you know, when we do have a sudden burst of energy we do have a little one arriving that is gonna take up a lot of energy as well.

Jennifer Schere : Oh! Yeah.

Sunny Gault : And you know this first hand when you have a little one at home so, how do we control that?

Jennifer Schere : You know, I think it’s about piecing like so, if there is a desire to do some you know, remodeling in the home you know, break it down into more you know, smaller steps. I wouldn’t say you know, don’t do it but just you gotta pace it you gotta look at the timing of things, look about how much energy it’s gonna take from both, both partners. And figure out you know, what’s reasonable to help you feel like, like you have invested, you have achieved something during this time that feels good but do not overdo it because you don’t wanna then create more chaos and overwhelmed because you are opening up too many doors when you are really you know, needing it to ready things and kind of organize.

Sunny Gault : Alright, okay let’s talk a little bit about the intensity of your nesting instinct and I know you guys are nearing levels of pregnancy but Stephanie let’s start with you to rate your intensity of nesting on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you give it?

Stephanie Saalfeld : Like Lindsey was saying earlier like I feel like I am kind of nesting all the time like I am always organizing, reorganizing so, I feel like I am at a constant level of like 6.

Sunny Gault : Okay, okay so you haven’t felt like a surge?

Stephanie Saalfeld : No, not really although I mean, there have been times were I get really obsessed with,

Sunny Gault : Needing to do something like,

Stephanie Saalfeld : Like I had my baby shower last week or couple of weeks ago, I was obsessed with putting together the pack n play and I have 10 weeks to go and this baby is not gonna be in that pack n play immediately. But I was obsessed with putting it together.

Sunny Gault : But there was queue.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Yeah and I just wanted to see okay, no choice I can do that and there was this one part that I just could not get, I called my next door neighbor and I am like I feel like an idiot like how many? And then she comes over and she is like “well, I can’t do that.”

Sunny Gault : How long have been trying to do this?

Stephanie Saalfeld : Because she take it to her husband and finally her husband takes 10 minutes to do it, so it wasn’t just me so I was glad. But yeah, this simple thing that I would thought take you know, 20 minutes will be taking like 3 hours.

[00:25:04]

Sunny Gault : Yeah, well that brings up a good point and Lindsey, I definitely wanna get your take on this as well but first, Jennifer if someone already have that you know, I don’t know that, that urge and it’s always very organized anyways. Those people do they, they start the opportunity to even increase that more, right so, can they get the nesting instinct that really bumps and over beyond, alright.

Jennifer Schere : Absolutely.

Sunny Gault : Okay so, just because you are organized does it mean that you can’t feel another surge of organization or whatever?

Jennifer Schere : I don’t feel like I have probably just been pacing it pretty well just because, because that’s how I always do things and I know that there is so much to be done and in my head I kind of like freak out. And okay, this, this and this used to be done so, I am like I will do one thing at a time and it will eventually get done, it will get done on time and then I don’t have to be worried about doing it all at once.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : So, you know, I think the danger comes when you know, you take some projects and glimpse in it you get stuck and the danger is when you start beating yourself up over it and it’s starts preeminating that sense of “Oh! Am I gonna be good mom if I can’t complete this.” This is so little, so little,

Sunny Gault : And we do this.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah but the thing is that, this is not dividing moment of,

Sunny Gault : If you can’t put together back and play you should not be a mother.

Jennifer Schere : Right, right.

Sunny Gault : I am gonna state that right now.

Jennifer Schere : But there is no real baby there to be getting the feedback from you know, so, we get completely obsessed with very trivial tasks as kind of measures of “Oh! I can do it on my way” you know, but these are not reflections of nurture and,

Sunny Gault : Yeah, that’s a good point, yeah. Okay, Lindsey on a scale 1 to 10 what is your nesting instinct right now?

Lindsey Atkinson : I think right now I am probably at a 7 or 8 with a little whim for the last couple of weeks to you know, get that clothes ready and all that little. I kind of make that mistake that Jennifer was talking about one project and then I will get distracted and then start another one. So, instead of closing the doors I am creating a little bit of chaos to myself probably I have to start dealing with that soon.

Sunny Gault : Well, I think we always want better the situation to so, I know for me when I start organizing in doing stuff part of that process is how do I improve this? So you know, I may come across one thing and it’s like “Oh! I could just organize that it would be better if I did this you know, and end up having all these little projects with my one project.” And then I just become overwhelmed and you put pregnancy hormones on top of that and,

Lindsey Atkinson : Exactly.

Sunny Gault : And you have an interesting personality let’s just put that there.

Lindsey Atkinson : Well, now I am kind of reminding myself to the things that I wanted to get done around the house I have these running list were I don’t have to pluck in my purse for the ongoing list. And then I have to remind myself there for the things that you do after the baby is born too is like you can organize your time while baby is taking a nap it doesn’t necessarily have to be done before the due date according to the script it is pretty essential before due date so, I think it’s prioritizing too.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, that’s a really good point. Ladies, thank you so much for joining us today and for sharing your thoughts and experiences in the nesting instinct. We would love to learn ways that you are listeners experiencing your nesting instinct you can leave a comment on our Facebook page or on our website on the page for this episode and don’t forget the conversation is not over yet, at least for the members. If you wanna access more great content after the show be sure to become the member of the Preggie Pals club you can visit https://www.preggiepals.com for more information.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segments: Baby Nursery on a Budget]

Sunny Gault : Before we wrap today’s show, here is some tips for keeping your baby nursery on a budget from Cynthia Katen.

Cynthia Katen : Hello, Preggie Pals I am Cynthia Katen founder of “Trick My Crib Nursery and Kids Room Designs” where I help your nursery dreams come true. I am excited to talk to you today about saving money on crib bedding, the crib bedding can be one of the most expensive decorating items and this is also one of the most tempting to go crazy off budget when buying. Similarly it is one of the first things new parents regret spending so much on. First experts recommend using breathable bumpers only especially for babies that are rolling over or soon will be therefore the bumper often comes after the crib in about 4 to 6 months and goes into the closet. Second, the beautiful comforter and matching pillow should not even be in the crib with your baby so, those pieces are lovely to look at but hardly any function at all. So, the crib bedding is an area were you can save big if you wanna spend your dollars on function because the only necessity for crib betting is the crib sheet and a spare too. That said you don’t have to sacrifice the look of a luxury crib with all the crib bedding bells and whistles if you don’t want to. Find what you love and shop around to find it in your budget, shop online, resale shops and even garage sales for the betting that most closely resembles the expensive set. Many sites even allow you to narrow your search by color which is a real time saver also check with your local resale shops and let them know what type of crib bedding you are looking for. They don’t have a lot of floor space and may turn away your crib bedding if they don’t know you need it. I can help you find the perfect crib bedding as part of my flat fee design service, please like “Trick My Crib” on Facebook and visit my page often for decorating ideas. Thanks for listening to today’s money saving scripts and be sure to listen to Preggie Pals for more great pregnancy tips in the future.

Sunny Gault : If you have some tips on how to reduce spending when it comes to baby nursery we would love to hear it call Preggie Pals hotline at 619-866-4775 and will include your tip in the future episode. Coming up next week we are revealing the “Top 10 reasons to breastfeed,” Thanks for listening to Preggie Pals, your pregnancy your way.

[Disclaimer]

This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

[00:32:09]

[End Of Audio]

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Episode Transcript

Preggie Pals
The Nesting Instinct During Pregnancy

Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.

[00:00:00]

[Theme Music]

Jennifer Schere : If you are pregnant and you are feeling the needs to clean up the garage, reorganize the sack drawer or spend countless hours speaking the perfect pain for the new nursery, you are not alone. I am Jennifer Schere, a Clinical Psychologist specializing in women’s issues and today we are exploring this pre-labor ritual also known as your “Nesting Instinct.” This is Preggie Pals, Episode 31.

[Theme Music/Intro]

Sunny Gault : Welcome to Preggie Pals, broadcasting from the Birth Education Center of San Diego, I am your host Sunny Gault. Do you have a pregnancy question for a team of experts, call our Preggie Pals Hotline at 619-866-4775 and we will get your questions answered and we will also include it in our future episode. We are also searching for unique and powerful birth stories to share with our listeners, if you would like to share your stories simply visit https://www.preggiepals.com/submityourstory and send us some initial information. And well on our website click on our section and learn all about the Preggie Pals club, you will get all of our archived episodes, bonus content after the show, transcripts and much more. Okay, we have a couple of panelists joining us here one is in the studio and one is over the phone so, let’s start here in the studio, Stephanie tell us little bit about yourself.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Hi, I am Stephanie Saalfeld, I am 29 years. I am Gemologist, due January 9th with my first baby, a girl and we are having hospital birth.

Sunny Gault : Okay and Lindsey is joining us over the phone, Lindsey tell us about yourself.

Lindsey Atkinson : Hi, I am Lindsey, I am 26 years old, I am an Administrative Assistant for a business. And we are planning a home birth with our first baby, due December 16th and it’s a girl.

Sunny Gault : Alright and where are you calling from Lindsey?

Lindsey Atkinson : I am from Maine.

Sunny Gault : From Maine and how is your pregnancy going on so far, pretty good?

Lindsey Atkinson : So far, yeah it’s been super easy, I don’t have any complications I have been really lucky.

Sunny Gault : That’s awesome and have you experienced the nesting instinct yet in your pregnancy?

Lindsey Atkinson : Yeah, this is funny because everybody else talked about nesting and that might be a sign going into labor but I am kind of a chronic nester I think, my husband always agrees. I do it all the time every day, I am constantly organizing things so, it’s kind of hard to tell us the new instinct or it’s just by nature in general kicking into high gear but,

Sunny Gault : I feel the same, we are just organized women what can I say? Okay, we are gonna talk more about that after the break.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segments: The Best Pregnancy Apps]

Sunny Gault : So we had a chance to review a pregnancy app, the app is called Numerology Baby Namer and this particular app is available on the iPhone, I believe it’s $2.99 if you want to purchase it. So, here is the thing I don’t know lot about numerology, okay but I love baby names, I am one of those crazy women that you know, I find out that I am pregnant you know, I am you know, only 4 weeks pregnant and I am like “what am I gonna name the baby?” Names mean a lot in our family you know, obviously I have more unusual name and I grew up with that so, I placed a lot stock in names just because I really enjoyed my name growing up. And some names are big deals so I was really excited to test this out, Stephanie you had a chance to test this out, what were your initial thoughts?

Stephanie Saalfeld : I did, well we do not have a name yet for our baby girl it has been tough.

Sunny Gault : Seriously.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Yes, it’s the hardest decision I think so far and yeah, because names means so much.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Stephanie Saalfeld : And I don’t really follow numerology and I don’t know whole lot about it but you know, we have liked some of the names but we were thinking about some of them were like “Oh! Well may be I don’t wanna name her that” you know, it’s like being stubborn and strong. And I am like well, she is my daughter that, that she is gonna be that anyway I don’t know her name, I don’t know if I wanna add that name.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Stephanie Saalfeld : But we are using only one middle name so, the middle name and obviously the last name are set. So, it’s funny to kind of read those things and I even put in my own you know, my own,

Sunny Gault : I did that too, to see if it was, yeah. Alright, right.

Stephanie Saalfeld : And I mean it was fairly accurate you know, I don’t know how,

Sunny Gault : I know, I was actually really surprised because it’s one thing if you are putting in information all about your kid because you don’t know what your kids gonna be like. So, is it right, is it wrong you don’t really know.

Stephanie Saalfeld : The due date is supposed to be their actual birth day so, exactly that’s not super accurate either.

[00:05:08]

Sunny Gault : And, and I guess we should kind of explain because I had actually gone online to see what numerology was because I think that app doesn’t necessarily really explain the background of numerology and stuff.

Stephanie Saalfeld : It should.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, it should and it does have kind of a pretty lengthy background as far as it being used around history. But numerology is basically using your date of birth and in this case the number of characters in your baby’s name to determine what type of personality they are going to have. So, I don’t necessarily abide into the whole thing numerology I have to admit but it’s kind of one of those fun things to do kind of like “Oh! I am having a girl or boy well you know, is my pillow facing north end of my house or the south.” It’s one of those things that I don’t put a lot of stock into it but it’s a fun I think it’s kind of fun for everyone else too.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Yeah, my husband and I have a few giggles.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, yeah Lindsey, Lindsey I would love to get your take on this.

Lindsey Atkinson : We did download the app and my husband is kind of a non-believer, I am kind of convinced into anything if you give me enough cool information about it. But we do have a name fixed out we had it for a long time and my husband just said it one day and we were like “yeah, that’s it that’s gonna be the name and there was no more discussion.” But it’s been a surprise to the family so that’s a point of contention we are not telling anybody.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Lindsey Atkinson : But we put it in and you know, it’s one of those things were like Stephanie said “we don’t know the baby yet so that’s hard to tell it’s accurate or not” but I do read a couple of instructions to my husband so, yeah that’s gonna be our kid for sure. And it seems like it was kind of a mix in his personality in mind but I definitely think it’s something fun if you have name fixed out you need to start thinking about you know, what her personality is gonna be like? And what she is gonna like and not like but,

Sunny Gault : Alright, but we have also asked some of our listeners to test out this app and here is what they have to say.

Randy Robinson : Hi, Preggie Pals this is Randy Robinson, I have had a fun time with this, I have no idea how accurate it is that they have done the background thing with numerology. But we typed our son’s name and we were happy to hear all the different shades of his name and it was really fun and I give it 5 stars, Thanks, bye.

John : Hi, Sunny this is John, Numerology Baby Namer is like one of the pre pregnancy products it’s not knowing necessary but it can afford a little bit of fun, it’s part of the process having a baby. But what I like about it is it’s got a pretty extensive list of names and you can quickly see what is the meaning of them all. What I didn’t like is it had a pretty basic way out due date functionality didn’t work out. Numerology Baby Namers is fun in kind of the way that the horoscope is fun I wouldn’t begrudge parents that bought this app, you know, looking to have a little bit of fun but I definitely wouldn’t say that Numerology Baby Namers is an app that connects me.

Sunny Gault : Well, we definitely wanna thank everyone that tested out this app for us keep in mind Preggie Pals now has a free app it’s available on the Amazon and iTunes market place. It’s great for moms on the go because it automatically updates with the latest episodes and it even allows you to connect with the show through our social networking sites. So, be sure to check it out.

[Theme Music]

Sunny Gault : Today we are learning all about the nesting instinct, Jennifer Schere is joining us here in the studio. Jennifer is a Clinical Psychologist, specializing in women’s issues, Jennifer welcome to the show.

Jennifer Schere : Thank you, it’s good to be back.

Sunny Gault : Okay, so let’s talk about this nesting instinct first of all is it even an instinct we say that but do all mothers get this, what is it?

Jennifer Schere : No, all mothers do not get this. But for those who do and get it very strongly I think the word instinct fits very well.

Sunny Gault : Is it kind of like mothers instinct, is it kind of along those lines to say “Oh! That’s mothers instinct like I know something that’s gonna happen or I know how to do this just because I am female.”

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, I think it’s instinctual in the sense of like a deep driven need that kind of bubbles up and it’s organized around wanting to prepare for the baby and really helping to ensure that you have got an environment where your baby can thrive. So, in that sense it’s very biological primitive and instinctual.

Sunny Gault : Okay, that makes sense, do men get this as well?

Jennifer Schere : You know we don’t associate the word nesting with men in a way my husband does so.

Sunny Gault : Really?

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, but I believe exactly like you said that there is a deep feeling like for men as well you know, sometimes it’s about the organization and or financially everything or,

Sunny Gault : Yeah, finances.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, but it’s still about mom and dad really been driven to prepare that we are ready for baby.

Sunny Gault : Alright, Lindsey how does your husband reacted? Do you think he has ever experienced the nesting instinct?

[00:10:07]

Lindsey Atkinson : I asked him about that actually but he wasn’t nesting at all we, our whole house we tore down last year we have been renovating so, our nursery is literally is still rock, Oh! My god. But now we are kind of down to the wire we have got 7 weeks last I think he is starting to feel the pressure. But he said that he thinks that men nest but that they have a due date in mind so it’s like any other project at work or anything else. He is like “I have the due date in my and as long as I get everything done by that date in my mind it’s always fine.” I think this whole time I have been kind of running around and organizing random drawers and everyone else find me out you know, in the garage, going through my gardening supplies for no reason at all. But he has definitely got more goal but he is getting ready I think and I definitely think it’s instinctual too you know,

Sunny Gault : Yeah, yeah. Jenifer what is the goal of nesting whether our body is doing and why?

Jennifer Schere : Well, there is the biological goal and psychological as well and a lot of times they are aligned. We just talked about it’s pretty much a need drive to prepare for the baby in terms of ensuring that you have got home environment that we know our baby will be safe and protected and can grow and thrive. Psychologically there is lot more layers of course one is about all the investment in preparing for what the baby’s needs are gonna be. There is also a lot of activity going on for men and women to ensure that they have got some control of what feels very out of control and very uncertain. So, the more concrete things you can actually do you know, the better you can feel so, it feels like you are working towards you know, helping in this process in doing the best you can as a, to be parent. And also psychologically a lot of times there is an element of nesting that’s about mom and dad you know, tying up loose ends, organizing a previous chapter in your life, a lot of cleansing in order to create more psychic energy in room for this new role of parent.

Sunny Gault : I was gonna say that one of the things that I experienced that I don’t know if this is nesting per say but it happened I believe with both pregnancies and that is, I would get up in the middle of night because I had a hard time sleeping anyways but this is even earlier in the pregnancy. I would get up in the middle of night and I wouldn’t like go around like cleaning stuff but it was more organizing the thoughts in my head you know, it was doing stuff on the computer and at that time I was planning for all the shows you know, the launch of Preggie Pals and Parent Savers and the Boob Group and there was a lot to do. And in my head I just had to wrap my brain around everything and figure out what my next steps were, it wasn’t like a physical thing for me but my husband was like why you need sleep? Why are you getting up in the middle of the night and for me it was just like I, it’s like I am waking up after I had you know, ten hours sleep, it’s just, it felt instinctual.

Jennifer Schere : And it also sounds like it felt energized.

Sunny Gault : Oh! Yeah, I had tons of energy.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, I know lot of people talked about that feeling like all of a sudden this burst of energy.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah and I think it’s exactly you know, what you are describing that, that even if it is not specifically organized around the baby to be. There is a lot energy going on in terms of us integrating what’s happening to us and were we are going and what we want to accomplish.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, Lindsey what are some of the ways that you have experienced instinct?

Lindsey Atkinson : Well, I make a lot of lists, I do that all the time but it’s all been list about getting the house ready that is even more getting the house physically right because we are having a home birth. So, every night before I go to sleep we were running through with okay, we need some towels and we need to order this and I need to go the store and get that and be prepared for the home birth, for the midwife to have everything they need. But I definitely think there is something to what Jennifer said about the emotional tying up of the loose ends too because a lot of them seems like that I have been doing just been going through old files, I have been going through old plastic photos of high school, diploma, certificates and pictures. So, I think there is definitely something to assessing where you have been in your life and then it is also kind of closes those chapters and gets you ready for the new chapter. And then obviously as I get closer to the birth I just want the house to be clean and I just wanted to be ready for the baby, I don’t want her to be any tough on the floor because I hate the idea of her crawling on the floor and getting passed and things like that. So, it’s both difficult and emotional I think for sure.

Sunny Gault : What are some of the symptoms would you say, Jennifer of nesting like how would women recognize? We talked about the sudden burst of energy, are there other signs we said it didn’t have to be related specifically to the baby which is a kind of news to me because when I think of nesting I think of “Oh! My Gosh” you know, like in Lindsey’s case, “I have to get the nursery ready” which is like sheep rock. Alright, but what are some of the other symptoms that we experience?

[00:15:16]

Jennifer Schere : Well, first let’s not call it symptoms.

Sunny Gault : Like it’s a disease, right?

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, these are behaviors that ate us in a wonderful way I mean, typically it is focused on baby’s stuff that’s, that’s more obvious and I think universal.

Sunny Gault : Are these making room for babies?

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, like we were talking about tying up loose ends.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, like some of the women talk lot about you know, clearly the nursery but a lot of times there is like, there is a specific feeling or need of women is trying to get the exact tone of the paint or, or the organization has to you know, you do it over and over because just trying to fit almost like a pathetic sense of what feels right.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : And you know, again biologically we are driven into perfect you know, the environment for the baby you know, for survival.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : But you know, on an emotional level we wanna make sure that we are not you know, just pleasing unnecessary anxiety I think in these little behaviors.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : You know, to try it out you also have big textures you know,

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : You know, when you are doing it and I think the doing is great you are investing in the process. But you know, if it becomes a little overwhelming or excessive to be able to take that step back.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : And know like Okay, it makes sense to get what I am doing this you know, it’s all, it’s all in the good of being a wonderful parent.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, I mean one of the behaviors and this, I think this is kind of talking about this you could potentially get you know, the tentative stuff.

Jennifer Schere : Alright.

Sunny Gault : It’s like how said, like I have to have that exact paint color and it may take our partners to say “listen crazy moments, back off.” It doesn’t have to be so exact or whatever.

Lindsey Atkinson : I just always think the husbands are good on things for that too because a couple of times my husband has sound to me like pouring over the tiny little details of the nursery like what color the shelf over the changing table is gonna be? And I can’t get off of it and he finally has to say “Lindsey, the baby doesn’t care if the shelf is pink or green. She is just gonna enjoy it” you know, like I just, it’s almost like I am having this house guest. And it’s the most important house guest and I am trying to set the room perfectly for her and he has to remind me like “she is a new born as long as you feed her and change her diaper she will be pretty happy.”

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : You know, I wanna add because “Oh!” what you are saying is so true in terms of like using the word perfect you just want to it to be perfect. And you know, one of the things I am working with women especially during postpartum periods and, and again during the pregnancy is you know, let’s examine the perfectionist, the equality, the standard you know, that you are projecting and putting out for yourself because you know, that’s, that’s what we want, we want to feel good. But I think getting it right for yourself as a mom even though baby is not gonna affected at this point for yourself is very important because that’s part of empowering yourself, it’s part of working into this new role and feeling good an competent about it. But again if, if we are going through perfection we get lost in that, that’s when you know, partners are so helpful to say “take a step back” you know, “you are gonna be great even if it’s not exactly the way you are visioning” you know, and that’s, that keep happening over and over as a mom were everything you project you know, you got to modify.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : So, it’s like you know, it’s practice.

Sunny Gault : Now, can the nesting instinct to happen for each pregnancy or is it we mainly talk anything about nesting moms?

Jennifer Schere : Oh! That’s a great question.

Sunny Gault : Because I think it would be you have more may be excitement maybe that’s a wrong word but there is a lot more unknown.

Jennifer Schere : You know, the first time it’s all new.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : You know, I think, I think nesting and I think this preoperational process and you know, psychologically reorganizing self I think that can take place with multiple pregnancies because each ones are different experience, as a women you have different point in your life.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah, you are coming to motherhood with already having kids with you if there are so many more dynamics like they get thrown in there.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : So, this is a process that I think you know, again for some women they never really experience it as in this way we are describing and there is something wrong with that.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : But many, many women I think this is something that you did it over and over.

Sunny Gault : Well and that’s a good point because I do feel that I experienced the nesting instinct well during both pregnancies but they expressed themselves differently. I think the first time around I was planning a nursery, I was trying to figure all that out and you know, I knew I was having a boy. So you know, all this sports equipment had to be perfect in there and you know, everything had to match perfectly and I needed that certain dust ruffle thing under the bed, bumper and all this stuff you know, does completely little crux and they don’t even use. But it was important to me then but then the second time around my life had changed, we were in the process of moving so I couldn’t really decorate a nursery so, I think maybe that’s why I shifted to more of a what do I have control over, okay I am planning this business, I am planning this opportunity and I think may be for me it was a mental shift from physically doing things at the first pregnancy. And then mentally trying a process and everything because there wasn’t anything I could do physically.

[00:20:54]

Jennifer Schere : Yes.

Sunny Gault : You know.

Jennifer Schere : You know, I think there is a burst of creative energy but a lot of women talked about it also your, there is an excitement and a momentum in itself as you are shifting. And I think it does you know, a lot of women they are new ideas and parts of self that take birth during pregnancy. So, so when we talked about it being not necessarily organized around you know, the baby’s room,

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Jennifer Schere : But you really listen to your own creative impulses and it might you know, inform you about new parts of yourself you want to explore.

Sunny Gault : Alright. Well, in the sense I was kind of giving birth to numerous things at once it was my baby, it was a new house and what that looked like is a new project in my life. So, there were a lot of things going on but then I also think we talked about this earlier that you can’t take too far and that’s something that I definitely want to touch on after the break because we know that nesting helps to prepare us for your arrival of our little one. But is there a down sight to this and how do we recognize those symptoms will explore all that when we come back.

[Theme Music]

Sunny Gault : Welcome back today we are talking about the nesting instinct and joining us is our special expert Jennifer Schere, she is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in women’s issues. So, Jennifer we talked about this a little bit in the first part of our show but wanna explore this so, I wanna dive a little deeper into this. So, we know nesting is a great way to prepare ourselves for the baby mentally, physically and all that good stuff but we can push this a little too far, alright. We talked a little bit about our partners coming in and saying “hey, they are crazy persons” you may not wanna call your partner crazy by the way, just think that. But anyways you may wanna back off a little bit because you know, when we do have a sudden burst of energy we do have a little one arriving that is gonna take up a lot of energy as well.

Jennifer Schere : Oh! Yeah.

Sunny Gault : And you know this first hand when you have a little one at home so, how do we control that?

Jennifer Schere : You know, I think it’s about piecing like so, if there is a desire to do some you know, remodeling in the home you know, break it down into more you know, smaller steps. I wouldn’t say you know, don’t do it but just you gotta pace it you gotta look at the timing of things, look about how much energy it’s gonna take from both, both partners. And figure out you know, what’s reasonable to help you feel like, like you have invested, you have achieved something during this time that feels good but do not overdo it because you don’t wanna then create more chaos and overwhelmed because you are opening up too many doors when you are really you know, needing it to ready things and kind of organize.

Sunny Gault : Alright, okay let’s talk a little bit about the intensity of your nesting instinct and I know you guys are nearing levels of pregnancy but Stephanie let’s start with you to rate your intensity of nesting on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you give it?

Stephanie Saalfeld : Like Lindsey was saying earlier like I feel like I am kind of nesting all the time like I am always organizing, reorganizing so, I feel like I am at a constant level of like 6.

Sunny Gault : Okay, okay so you haven’t felt like a surge?

Stephanie Saalfeld : No, not really although I mean, there have been times were I get really obsessed with,

Sunny Gault : Needing to do something like,

Stephanie Saalfeld : Like I had my baby shower last week or couple of weeks ago, I was obsessed with putting together the pack n play and I have 10 weeks to go and this baby is not gonna be in that pack n play immediately. But I was obsessed with putting it together.

Sunny Gault : But there was queue.

Stephanie Saalfeld : Yeah and I just wanted to see okay, no choice I can do that and there was this one part that I just could not get, I called my next door neighbor and I am like I feel like an idiot like how many? And then she comes over and she is like “well, I can’t do that.”

Sunny Gault : How long have been trying to do this?

Stephanie Saalfeld : Because she take it to her husband and finally her husband takes 10 minutes to do it, so it wasn’t just me so I was glad. But yeah, this simple thing that I would thought take you know, 20 minutes will be taking like 3 hours.

[00:25:04]

Sunny Gault : Yeah, well that brings up a good point and Lindsey, I definitely wanna get your take on this as well but first, Jennifer if someone already have that you know, I don’t know that, that urge and it’s always very organized anyways. Those people do they, they start the opportunity to even increase that more, right so, can they get the nesting instinct that really bumps and over beyond, alright.

Jennifer Schere : Absolutely.

Sunny Gault : Okay so, just because you are organized does it mean that you can’t feel another surge of organization or whatever?

Jennifer Schere : I don’t feel like I have probably just been pacing it pretty well just because, because that’s how I always do things and I know that there is so much to be done and in my head I kind of like freak out. And okay, this, this and this used to be done so, I am like I will do one thing at a time and it will eventually get done, it will get done on time and then I don’t have to be worried about doing it all at once.

Sunny Gault : Alright.

Jennifer Schere : So, you know, I think the danger comes when you know, you take some projects and glimpse in it you get stuck and the danger is when you start beating yourself up over it and it’s starts preeminating that sense of “Oh! Am I gonna be good mom if I can’t complete this.” This is so little, so little,

Sunny Gault : And we do this.

Jennifer Schere : Yeah but the thing is that, this is not dividing moment of,

Sunny Gault : If you can’t put together back and play you should not be a mother.

Jennifer Schere : Right, right.

Sunny Gault : I am gonna state that right now.

Jennifer Schere : But there is no real baby there to be getting the feedback from you know, so, we get completely obsessed with very trivial tasks as kind of measures of “Oh! I can do it on my way” you know, but these are not reflections of nurture and,

Sunny Gault : Yeah, that’s a good point, yeah. Okay, Lindsey on a scale 1 to 10 what is your nesting instinct right now?

Lindsey Atkinson : I think right now I am probably at a 7 or 8 with a little whim for the last couple of weeks to you know, get that clothes ready and all that little. I kind of make that mistake that Jennifer was talking about one project and then I will get distracted and then start another one. So, instead of closing the doors I am creating a little bit of chaos to myself probably I have to start dealing with that soon.

Sunny Gault : Well, I think we always want better the situation to so, I know for me when I start organizing in doing stuff part of that process is how do I improve this? So you know, I may come across one thing and it’s like “Oh! I could just organize that it would be better if I did this you know, and end up having all these little projects with my one project.” And then I just become overwhelmed and you put pregnancy hormones on top of that and,

Lindsey Atkinson : Exactly.

Sunny Gault : And you have an interesting personality let’s just put that there.

Lindsey Atkinson : Well, now I am kind of reminding myself to the things that I wanted to get done around the house I have these running list were I don’t have to pluck in my purse for the ongoing list. And then I have to remind myself there for the things that you do after the baby is born too is like you can organize your time while baby is taking a nap it doesn’t necessarily have to be done before the due date according to the script it is pretty essential before due date so, I think it’s prioritizing too.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, that’s a really good point. Ladies, thank you so much for joining us today and for sharing your thoughts and experiences in the nesting instinct. We would love to learn ways that you are listeners experiencing your nesting instinct you can leave a comment on our Facebook page or on our website on the page for this episode and don’t forget the conversation is not over yet, at least for the members. If you wanna access more great content after the show be sure to become the member of the Preggie Pals club you can visit https://www.preggiepals.com for more information.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segments: Baby Nursery on a Budget]

Sunny Gault : Before we wrap today’s show, here is some tips for keeping your baby nursery on a budget from Cynthia Katen.

Cynthia Katen : Hello, Preggie Pals I am Cynthia Katen founder of “Trick My Crib Nursery and Kids Room Designs” where I help your nursery dreams come true. I am excited to talk to you today about saving money on crib bedding, the crib bedding can be one of the most expensive decorating items and this is also one of the most tempting to go crazy off budget when buying. Similarly it is one of the first things new parents regret spending so much on. First experts recommend using breathable bumpers only especially for babies that are rolling over or soon will be therefore the bumper often comes after the crib in about 4 to 6 months and goes into the closet. Second, the beautiful comforter and matching pillow should not even be in the crib with your baby so, those pieces are lovely to look at but hardly any function at all. So, the crib bedding is an area were you can save big if you wanna spend your dollars on function because the only necessity for crib betting is the crib sheet and a spare too. That said you don’t have to sacrifice the look of a luxury crib with all the crib bedding bells and whistles if you don’t want to. Find what you love and shop around to find it in your budget, shop online, resale shops and even garage sales for the betting that most closely resembles the expensive set. Many sites even allow you to narrow your search by color which is a real time saver also check with your local resale shops and let them know what type of crib bedding you are looking for. They don’t have a lot of floor space and may turn away your crib bedding if they don’t know you need it. I can help you find the perfect crib bedding as part of my flat fee design service, please like “Trick My Crib” on Facebook and visit my page often for decorating ideas. Thanks for listening to today’s money saving scripts and be sure to listen to Preggie Pals for more great pregnancy tips in the future.

Sunny Gault : If you have some tips on how to reduce spending when it comes to baby nursery we would love to hear it call Preggie Pals hotline at 619-866-4775 and will include your tip in the future episode. Coming up next week we are revealing the “Top 10 reasons to breastfeed,” Thanks for listening to Preggie Pals, your pregnancy your way.

[Disclaimer]

This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

[00:32:09]

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