You just had your baby or you are nearing the end of maternity leave. Whether you are returning to work, staying home with your baby longer, or everything in between, we are diving deep into financial tips for new mothers. Buckle up, it's a good one. Thanks for joining us. This is "Newbies."

Welcome to "Newbies."

My name is Kaile Garcia, and I'll be your host today. If you haven't already, be sure to visit our website at newmommymedia.com and subscribe to our weekly newsletter, which keeps you updated on all the episodes we release each week. Another great way to stay updated is to hit that subscribe button in your podcast app.

And if you're looking for a way to get even more involved with our show, then check out our online community. It's on Patreon. That's where we chat more about the topics discussed here on our show, and it's also an easy way to learn about our recording so you can join us live. Our expert today is Ally Wood.

She is a former woman in tech, now a stay-at-home mom, but future CFP. We love that. She's also a military spouse like so many of our listeners So first question, please tell us about your family and where you are located, and the branch your husband serves.

Sure, sure. You know a bit about me. It's me, my husband, and our son.

I just had our son in January of this year, so very new mommy in the throes and woes and everything else of postpartum. It's amazing. It's wild. It's crazy. Do you see? Yeah. So he just totally stopped. I love it. So it's crazy. So we my husband is an Air Force pilot. He flies the C-5, which is a plane that looks like it should not be in the sky.

And we are Texas residents, but we are currently located in Delaware but we'll hopefully be returning to Texas very soon. So that's a little bit about us.

Oh, fun. Yay. Well, I'm excited to dive into this topic of- Me

too ...

financial literacy. I think it's so important amongst military communities, amongst new moms in general.

I think-

Agreed ...

we should all be sharing this info. Let's not gatekeep, right?

Yeah. No, absolutely. Let's do it. Open book.

Yay. Awesome. We'll jump into it, but first, let's take a quick break. Today, we're discussing financial tips for new mothers. So first, I wanna know more about you, right? You said that you have an under-one-year-old.

So do I. Yay. It's crazy. First becoming a mom um, pregnancy- Yeah ... birth. I wanna hear it all.

Okay. So I will say it was definitely in our plan. It was within our planning window. But it was an absolute surprise. One day, I just did not fit my jeans, and I was like, "This is so strange.

I've been wearing the same size jeans for seven, eight years now. What is going on?" And I just thought "All right, girl, you need to, ease up on the barbecue," and going to the... I'm in love with this ice cream shop nearby, and I was going every night. And I was like, "All right. I'm just gonna...

i'm having fun. I'm... We're in a new place, and I'm trying all these foods." No. That is not what the case was. It was actually one of our dogs, he came up to me, and he just stared into my soul one morning as I was getting ready, and I was like, "I need to go take a test. I need to go to Walmart right now, and I need to go buy a pregnancy test."

I was like, "Something is very odd." And what do you know? I took four of them. I don't think that's necessary. But I did, and turns out we were expecting. Aww ... yeah. It was just, we were both so elated, and I feel like I had, a first trimester that was very, like- Oh, man, I could sleep 16 hours easy.

I hated the smell of my own home, and all those typical, I feel like, first trimester things. The first trimester was rough. But I do think the second trimester was gorgeous. It was beautiful. It was... I had so much energy. I wanted to eat again. We did a ton of travel. We traveled every month during that time period because I was feeling really good.

And then my third trimester, I had I had a plan in mind for, what I wanted his birth to be like and his entrance into the world. And he was ready to come out. My body did not wanna cooperate. He was comfortable being breech. And it changed things because around that time, I started having some issues with blood pressure that was outside of my normal range.

It wasn't necessarily dangerous, but it was, like, dangerous for me. So third trimester was a little bit complicated. But I got to pick my surgeon. I had a scheduled C-section. It was amazing. My OR team was just so killer. They were just, gosh, they were the greatest people. So if I ever, if I had to repeat that whole thing again, I absolutely would.

It was amazing, and they were so wonderful. And yeah, from just moments after he came out, we have been, we've been inseparable,

how lovely.

Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing.

You know,

It's interesting. I ha- had another recording before ours, and I spoke to another mama who had a breech baby and ended up with- Yes

an emergency C-section. And I've never- Yes ... heard that's... 'Cause you hear about it. It happens. Yeah. But you always are told that it's rare, but apparently-

Yeah ...

it's not.

Yeah. No. And I was, I will say I was scheduled. They had told me a few weeks prior "Hey, with the blood pressure and the fact-"

Mm-hmm.

I do, and I do everything. I was doing all my yoga poses. I was doing my ball. Spinning babies. Yeah. I was... My chiropractor spinning babies. I was- Yeah ... 'cause I was that girl who was like, "I want him to turn around." Yeah. So but I was lucky enough to have a scheduled, so it is- a bit different. There's a lot of thought that goes into it.

Emergency, like I know friends and family who have had those, and it can be a little bit more chaotic for them. I am, grateful for that. But yeah, you think it's rare, and then you start talking to people and they're like- Yeah ... "I had one. I had one." I'm like, "Oh, okay." Yeah. "That's different."

Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah.

Anyway, so getting to know you more, when did you feel, and this, for our listeners, we will talk about finances, I promise. But when did you feel that you wanted to be a stay-at-home mom? And I'll go first. I worked in news, like local news, for like eight years, and it was daunting hours.

It was gone- ... for literally, it was like 50-hour weeks. I always had one to three hours of overtime every single day. And so I did not wanna do that after I had a baby, and I took my six months of maternity leave, and then I just did not return, and it was fine. Everything was fine. But I knew during maternity leave.

So if you would've asked me bef- when I had, my first in my belly still, I would've been like, "Nope, I'm returning to work. I need the money." I-- We were a dual income family. My husband's military. I worked, and it was lovely. We had a lovely life. And then I had my daughter- Yeah ... and I was like, "I can't.

I can't." But my best friend was the opposite of me. She had her son three months after me and chose to go back to work early. You know? So she got the- Yeah ... eight weeks off, and she chose to go back at like six weeks 'cause she just wanted to. And so every woman's different, but for you, when did you want to be a stay-at-home mom?

Was it during pregnancy? Yeah. Was it after baby was born? Tell us a little bit about that.

Yes. And I will say this, all moms' journeys and desires of what they wanna do, totally valid. Yes. I was definitely career girly, very career forward. I had busted my rear in my 20s to work my way up in tech, and I knew when I was pregnant.

I actually, I actually- Ooh, very early ... it was very early o- it was very early on. I actually reached out to a girlfriend of mine. We had met on socials somehow over the years, and I reached out to her and I said, "Hey." She's a lawyer and I said, How did you do it? Did you have these feelings?

Did you have these feelings that you were just done with your career?" And she told me, she was like, "Absolutely." She's like, "And you may decide as time goes on that you want something flexible." That's what she wanted. She wanted something- ... flexible for the future. Yeah. And yeah, that was just where I was.

I, I just knew. I said I knew that eventually I was going to leave my job, and then I got lucky in the sense that my company that I worked for was being bought. And as soon as they told us, I immediately knew. I said, "Okay, great. We're all getting laid off. This is the best case scenario for me."

And that's what happened. So- That's awesome ... it actually, I, yeah, I ended up not even having to like, co- overcome the choice. It was just made for me. Yeah. And I think it was supposed to be that way.

That's amazing. That is awesome that it worked out, 'cause I could imagine for so many people that would be devastating.

Absolutely. But

I'm glad-

Right? And then I, yeah, I was pumped. I was like, "Absolutely. No, I don't have to make the hard choice."

That's wild. Okay. So switching gears, how has being a military spouse, right- Yeah ... changed your perception? Talk to me a little bit behind you wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, but knowing the military ebbs and flows, right?

Sometimes- Yeah ... the government shuts down, and we are unsure about our payments, which is so stressful. Yeah. But anyway. Yeah. Ugh. Talk a little bit about, your planning to be like, "Okay, we're gonna be a one-income family-

Yeah ...

for a little bit." Yeah how was it going through those conversations with your husband?

Yeah, so I will say I've always been I have always been the breadwinner. Our family lost, anywhere from 200 to 250,000 by me being laid off. That is not a small sum of money. And regardless, if you're a two-income family and you're going to one c- income, regardless of what that other income was, it makes a difference.

Yeah. And yeah, of course, yeah, then going through like a shutdown just before I was laid off, we were like, I was like, "Oh my gosh, no, this can't happen." So yeah. I've always been a planner, a saver. I had a very healthy emergency fund. We had good investments. Good retirements that we were like, "Okay, absolutely worst case scenario, how do you pull from your retirement?"

You would never wanna do that. And I, and we talked to our CPA about this as well, 'cause I, you know, being someone who's into finance, I do bounce things off of our CPA because he is into the planning space as well. And yeah I just, I knew that, okay, we just have to sit down. We have to do the numbers.

We got all of our finances in Monarch Money. That was honestly our start. We downloaded Monarch Money. We put everything in there so that we could see exactly how are we spending money, what do we have to do, and it's a little daunting. It's a little daunting to go down to one income. But my husband and I have always discussed finances, even way back when we were dating.

So it was definitely a bit easier than it could be for some because that was the norm for us. However I definitely think there were a lot of things that I had to learn to be okay with as a stay-at-home mom. Not feeling guilty for spending money just because it wasn't, quote-unquote, "mine" all of a sudden.

Which my husband would never say something like that. But these strange things started to pop in my head "Oh, should I do this? Because I'm not really bringing anything in right now." Things like that. There was like a very strange guilt from myself or maybe from external I don't know.

It d- but that definitely happened to me. So that was interesting for sure.

I can so relate with that. I'll speak a little bit on my part. When I chose not to go back, but then I got blessed with this gig, so which our listeners have been listening to me for a while. But so I chose to do part-time, right?

It's no longer full-time, part-time, freelance. No... all of that was, all of the job security's gone. Yeah. And like you said, wanting those little extra things that I used to grab for myself all the time, and it's not even just like the Starbucks, but it's like I already have five lip glosses.

Do I need a sixth one?" Yes. I would've said yes if I was working full-time. Yeah. Yes.

Yes.

That I have those thoughts in the back of my mind. "Really? Do I need that?" And so I can so relate definitely when you do go down and you do look at your finances. And a big one for me, especially with, I've been so not been working full-time for about three years now since my daughter, my first daughter was born.

It's, now it kind of changes over to, "Okay, so what are we getting our daughter?" It's we- Yes ... even though he's bringing in everything. I love that. Yes. It's like a whole mind shift, and I love that I have very open conversations with my husband too about finances and stuff. Anyway, before we get any further down the road, let's take a quick break- Yeah

and then we will chat about more tips coming up. . Welcome back. We are continuing our conversation with Ally. So we were talking a little bit about...

I was talking about how- ... I changed my mindset from what are we getting, even though it's not me it's him. It's fine. We're a family. But let's chat about finances and why babies are so darn pricey. And I love- Yeah ... that your baby is under one because you've been through it, the newborn stage, right?

Is your baby crawling yet? Maybe, but then they start walking. You know what I mean? Oh. With all these little things- Yeah ... of I remember when my, I have an early walker for my second. She's 10 months old- Yes ... and she's walking already. It's crazy. But when she was crawling around six to seven months I started getting or pulling out the pants, right?

'Cause we have hardwood floors. Yes. And so I don't want her- Yes ... in shorts or in her onesie. I need some pants. Babies are so pricey. So what are your- Yes ... thoughts about finances, chatting with your husband, and maybe some tips for new moms who want to do it all, right? Want to get the new wardrobes all the time because babies- Yeah

are constantly growing. Or wanting to get the new walking toys. Or what are some tips you have for finances and babies- Ugh ... and priciness?

Absolutely. This was so top of mind for us. So I will say, when we knew that we were gonna be going down to one income, and even if you're not, even if there's no income changes, I highly suggest your baby needs to be built into the monthly, quarterly, annual budget.

That, that is just, that's something that we did. I looked at the things that we knew we were gonna need. I narrowed down. I talked to tons of friends, got all of their registry lists, and then I kinda took their like, "What was your absolute must-haves?" "What were the things that you never used?

What were the things that you did use?" And that's how I compiled my first registry, and we didn't have to emergency order anything. It was very accurate. I was, like, very proud of myself for being, especially being a first-time mom. So that was where we started, was being, like, very specific about what we purchased.

Also, y'all, there is no sh- grow-with-me things Yes, the price tag may look a little bit scary up front, but it is absolutely worth it. It's a grow-with-me item. It is meant to stay with you and your family for a couple years. It's meant to be a transitional item. There's no reason, you know, like we have his activity center.

That's gonna go the, all the way up through his toddler years because it turns into a play table, a table where he can color and have his toys. Thing, same with like we have a, gosh, is it Stokke? A Stokke chair that was from infant to now he's sitting, and then it will go into, turn into a toddler seat, and then it turns into an actual chair.

There's just all of these things that you can do and think about, like plan for these items and start saving. Like maybe you can't afford it right now, but if you put it into the budget and you say, "Okay, we're gonna save 25 bucks every month for this item," because they grow fast, and it's so hard.

And also, hey, you know what? As long as it's not something that needs to be like verifiably safe, like sometimes buying car seats for others can be tricky, there is nothing wrong with buying secondhand items. Absolutely not. If that is what your budget allows, the item is safe and usable for your child Absolutely do that.

Sales as well, buy on sale. If you like, if your kid's running through onesies like water, Carter's, at least six times a year, has a sale. You can buy a 20-pack of onesies. It just depends on where you are. But trying to speak to the average person, like that's the reality.

Sales, trying to save and budget for things, and secondhand. Do what you have to do. If, as long as your kid is cared for, it's, that's what matters.

Absolutely. And you definitely nailed it with the Grow With Me- ... because I, we have a few tables and like bouncers or w- ... n- more like walkers or stuff like that, and my first child loved it, and my kids are two and a half years apart, so my first child loved it.

And then when I had my second, when my oldest was two and a half, you start bringing out all of the toys again, and then- ... the younger kids really enjoy it, too. So these toys are timeless. They're... Even the strollers, we were in that nice, we bought a really nice car seat for the first, but our second was able to enjoy because we had such a small age gap.

Absolutely. Yeah. So really, and you know that the newborn car seat only lasts for so long before- Yeah ... your kid, gets too tall or too heavy or whatever it may be. And and they last for a few years. I think it's f- Yes ... mine, I believe, was like five or six years before it, you can't use it.

Expires. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And yes, not only buying things that you can afford or buying things secondhand or doing the Grow With Me, but you can also keep them, and then if you have other kids, it's like a huge investment into your family- Absolutely. Yes ... which I think are so nice. So I guess follow-up question really is why is it so important to stay on budget?

And I feel like this is such an open-ended question. But why is it important to stay on budget for a family and to have financial literacy? I feel like that is really important because, yes, buying the nice car seat, buying the nice, bassinet, right? My kid-

Mm-hmm ......

never used a bassinet, I'll say that.

Ever.

Ever.

But, you know, and I'm even looking at like selling my crib because she's never used a crib, so it's like-

He's never

used

it either. Yep.

Yeah, so

these are all things- It's a temporary parking

spot. Exactly. Yeah. So why is it so important to stay on budget for a family and to have the financial literacy?

Because- Yeah ... yes, you can stay on budget, but if there's, if you're not working towards a goal, right? Then I feel like what are

you doing? So answer the question. Yeah. What are you thinking? Yeah. No, absolutely. It's a great question. So I do think it's super important that folks understand first a budget is not handcuffs.

A budget is not shackles. It is we- my husband always jokes, he now says my phrase, I call it favors for future you. So your budget is a favor for fu- future you. What do you all want as a family? Is there a bigger house in the plans? Is there a house in a different location? Maybe not necessarily- bigger, but somewhere that you need to plan for. A big trip you guys wanna do, vacation, putting your kids in a certain type of school or preschool or learning center, whatever the case may be, whatever it is that your family goals are. Are you paying off debt? Are you trying to get a second car? So many military families are one-car families, and- Yep

I hear that all the time. It's one of those things of if you constantly stray from that, you are just giving future you, which has so much more time to live than current you, you're just causing him or her problems. And it's hard to think about, 'cause you're in the now, and you might want this thing right now.

I don't believe in deprivation. I do believe that little treats here and there and occasional splurges are great, but if you're constantly impulse buying, if you're constantly blowing through your entertainment budget or your fun budget, whatever, all that is delaying what could be for the future you, which has a longer amount of time to be here and will have less time to do financial things like saving and investing and retirement planning.

Yeah, I really just think it is very important for future you. Do a little bit now to make your life so much better in the future, especially as your kids are getting bigger. You're gonna wanna do more. There's gonna be more things that they're gonna wanna do. I feel like there's a trade-off, yeah, infants and babies are expensive, but ooh, so is sports and activities.

Absolutely. And it's so funny, my daughter's three, and she is-- she's been in swim lessons, which were- Oh yes ... $50 a month. Yeah. She's done dance, which was $30 a class. She does- Yes ... gymnastics, which is $60 a month, and she's only three.

I can't- ... even imagine if we go the route of competitive dance or- Yes ... if she wants to switch and do sports, right? I think where I live in South Carolina, s- most sports start at four, and yeah- Yeah ... I enroll her in soccer or basketball, but I don't even know what that costs, so you're so right.

Babies are definitely one expense, but then toddlers and young kids- ... it definitely adds up. Yay. Okay. We'll take one of our last breaks, and we hop back on our show. I wanna ask you more about, the starting point of where couples could start tonight. But let- first, let's take a quick break.

Welcome back. Okay, for our last little section I teased before the break, I wanna talk a little bit about where couples can start. So if they're listening to this episode, right? And, you wanna talk to your husband when he gets home, where would be your best bet to start? What would be your advice for starting the conversation to make sure that, moms, new moms, wives know what's coming in and what's going out?

Absolutely. I think it's just being... Listen, okay, so everyone is raised differently in terms- ... of their views on money. So I think understanding that is a really important starting place. Some people can be very sensitive when talking about finances. And the reality is that there are couples out there who have never had a true financial discussion.

So I would just approach it in the sense of, you guys wanna be getting on the same page about your goals, about the things that you want in life, about the debts you need to pay off, about what you wanna do for your kids, for yourselves. It's not just about the kids having hobbies.

It's about you guys having hobbies too. This is, this is your first time living too. So I think it's really important to just approach it from a, you guys are a team. Let's get on the same page about what we're doing and when we're doing it and how we do it and whether that's you all find, a budgeting app.

Again, I'm not, I- not paid by Monarch or anything. We just love Monarch Money. We've tried a bajillion, but there are so many out there. There are free ones. There are paid ones. Start there. Start with you all both getting a good look at your finances and understanding the goals that each of you have as individuals and together.

Both are important. Both are equally as important.

So helpful, especially for the moms like I was. I could totally imagine I would've loved to listen to this episode when I was in between- Yeah ... what I was going to do. Am I gonna go back to work? Am I not gonna go back to work? What does our budget look like, so let's track our budget for a few months- ... and see, where we can cut or where we can splurge, right? Yeah. Like we can get our daughter, what's the next holiday coming up? I don't know, July, August, September. Halloween. I know,

right? Where are we? Halloween.

Yeah. Halloween. For the listeners, we're recording in July.

Yeah, and get the my first Halloween onesie and my first Thanksgiving onesie, which should be coming up. Yeah. So I think that's so important. Okay. So how can anyone keep in contact with you? Shout out your socials.

Sure. So I am only on Instagram. I tried to keep up with TikTok, but hello, new mom.

I'm just on Instagram right now, and it's- ... @heyallymarie, @ H-E-Y-A-L-Y-M-A-R-I-E on Instagram.

Yay. And then last, I always like leaving our listeners on an uplifting note. This was a very uplifting episode. But what is some advice you have for new moms who might- ... be in the trenches right now? Let's say, I'll give you a scenario. What would you tell this mom? She did leave her job, right? Or maybe they let go of her.

I've talked to some moms that were let go, when they were pregnant, and it was fine. It worked out. But what would you say to the new moms who are in between in the trenches of being a stay-at-home mom or feeling like, they don't know what's coming in, coming out in their household finances?

I would say, I see you. It's okay. This is all very new for you. You are in the trenches. You are undergoing major identity shifts, whether you had a career before becoming a mom or not. Either way you're undergoing a lot right now, so the one thing you can do is baby steps. Baby steps. That's it. One thing at a time.

Don't overwhelm yourself with needing to know it all, guilt, all of that. You're going to get there. It's going to get better. Your baby's going to sleep more. Your baby's going to become more independent. Things start to change, and then at those times, you can get more involved in what's next for you.

It's not this way forever. That's the reality.

Oh, so helpful. And I feel like that's true in parenting in general. Nothing lasts forever. There will be an- ... end time soon. And that's just so positive. Yay. Ally, thank you so much for joining me. This has been one of my favorite episodes, honestly, since the new season.

Thank you. This was so fun. I love talking about finances. I love just, I just, I think it's so important. I think these are important mom tips that aren't talked about enough. We talk about breastfeeding- Yeah ... we talk about exercise. We talk about mental health- Yes ... which are all very important, but also finances, yes.

Agreed. Thank you for having me. This has been wonderful.

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