Toddler Playdates: What to Expect

Both mom and dad need a break sometimes, and that's the perfect opportunity for a playdate. But, how do you find a group that's right for you and your child? Is there some sort of playdate etiquette you should know about? What do you do when conflict occurs? And how do you go about starting a new playgroup in your area?

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Episode Transcript

Parent Savers
Toddler Playdates

Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.

[Theme Music]

Tami Pence : After you have had a baby at some point you might get bored or long for other kids to play with or even moms and dads to socialize with. How do you find playgroups? Are there rules or etiquette involved? I am Tami Pence, Playgroup Co-director at Parent Connection, here today to talk about playdates. And this is Parent Savers, Episode 14.

[Theme Music/Intro]

KC Wilt : Welcome to Parent Savers broadcasting from the birth education center of San Diego. I am your host KC Wilt. Parent Savers is all about helping new parents preserve their sanity by giving you the expert advice from the babby years to toddler years. Feel free to send us emails or suggestions on our website, https://www.parentsavers.com or our Facebook page or you can call our Parent Savers hotline at 619-866-4775. I am a new parent myself, my son Carson, he is about 19 months old now and I am joined by three new parents here in the studio.

Sunny Gault : Hi, I am Sunny Gault and I am actually the host of our sister show called Preggie Pals. I am a new parent myself. I have a little boy, Sayer who is Oh! Gosh, almost 2 years old now and I have a newborn. I guess two months, Urban is about 2 months now.

Sarah Overbey : My name is Sarah Overbey and I have two and a half years old twins one is a boy and one is a girl. And I work part time for a software company in their Marketing department.

Owen Hemsath : Hi, everyone I am Owen. Hi everyone, it’s good to be back. My name is Owen Hemsath. I am video marketing guy out in North Candy, San Diego. Well, I am a dad; I have a step son Kanan who is 5 years. My first born is Jameson is 13, he is 13 months and my wife works expecting her 3rd in 2 weeks so, it will be full house.

KC Wilt : Yeah, busy family.

Owen Hemsath : Yeah, can’t wait for it.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segments: Guidelines for Age Appropriate Toys]
KC Wilt : Before we start today’s show, here is the latest Toy Talk.

Brian Miller : Hello, Parent Savers I am Brian Miller. I own Geppettos Toys Stores in San Diego. Today we are gonna talk about toy’s safety and guidelines for age appropriate toys. First of all, we all know that our children are brilliant and they are but, you wanna go by the age rating on a package. There are a lot of researches are done and they are either age ranges, for example, a toy may be fit for a 6 day-year-old or may say 10 plus for example, for an age rating. You wanna listen to those. It’s generally a guideline so obviously, use your judgment but is are a lot of research put into those. For a toy, you want to motivate your child and you wanna challenge them but you don’t wanna frustrate them. So, that’s why those age warnings come in handy. The other part of age appropriate is safety. That’s very important especially for choking hazards for children under 3. If you visualize a toilet paper tube any part of the toy that can fit through a toilet paper tube is definitely not safe for the child who is under the age of 3. And also other safety warnings that may be on toys some things may have sharp parts, for example, a chemistry set obviously that’s not suitable to give to a 5-year-old but it might be suitable for your 12-year-old. So, really pay attention to the package lately in terms of age warnings, in terms of safety warnings. Those are all very important and also utilize your local toy store as a reference point for good knowledge and good information. You can visit our website on https://www.geppettostoys.com for information or be sure to listen to Parent Savers for more toy tips in the future.

[Theme Music]

KC Wilt : Today on Parent Savers we have Tamie Pence Playgroup Co-director at Parent Connection here to talk to us about the 411 playdates. So, Tamie what is a playdate, playgroup? How do you find them?

Tami Pence : Well, playdate or playgroup is just an opportunity for parents, both moms and dads to get together with their kids. We facilitate those through the Parent Connection which you can find at https://www.sandiegoparent.com. The Parent Connection offers playgroups that are based on age range and the region that someone lives in. For example, in Mira Mesa the playgroups are only 6 months variance so will have kids that are born between January of 2011 and June of 2011 and that’s how we separate them out.

KC Wilt : Is Parent Connection only in San Diego or there are other things or groups that are like that across the states and everywhere else?
Tami Pence : The Pat Connection is actually facilitated by Scripps Hospital and so we are a San Diego county based organization but there are some more ones that are nationwide.

KC Wilt : So, we could find them like just Google it or okay, how do you find another play day? Are there other resources out there? Like, you just kind of go up to mom and say “Hi, you have a baby I have a baby let’s be a group?”

Tami Pence : Well, I was really fortunate. I actually started my play group before my first son was born. I was literally just walking the streets and saw a little note in somebody’s yard that said “I am the member of the Parent Connection” So, I contacted the Parent Connection and all it takes is one person. You give us your information and you become what’s called a “Captain” and we have training literally about an hour or we give you some hints and some advice or some ideas on how you can start a play group. But, basically it takes one person to be in contact and then interested parents and interested Parent Connection members contact us. We give them the Captain’s contact information and then you go from there.

KC Wilt : Well, actually I worked with a family once she, one person sent an email saying “I am pregnant, do you know any other pregnant friends?” and the next thing you know, they just spread the email and they created this group of just moms and they started meeting together when they are pregnant. And then their babies were born in the same age and then they had a, and for me like, I was the part of the breastfeeding support group at a hospital that they had and I am sure that the moms you know in my age group we just started giving our phone numbers. And now we have a mom’s group. It’s kind of funny that we just kind of created one I guess.

Owen Hemsath : It’s organic too, that’s what people want. They want to get together with other parents and learn and things like that.

Tami Pence : And ours got up to about 60 members at one point and my husband ask because when I go to the park picking people all the time. But honestly, you know, if your kids jell with somebody it’s just something that they enjoy doing so and we just invite them. Our playgroup meets weekly and I can tell you a little bit more about what the playgroup experience is? But we meet weekly and,

Owen Hemsath : Is it mostly moms?

Tami Pence : Ours is moms and dads. In fact, we have mom’s night outs and dad’s night outs and at the Parent Connection we do nearly try to create a parent connection which is moms and dads, put the majority as moms.

Owen Hemsath : Yeah, yeah because we have a dad’s playgroup that happens. The girls go out with the kids and then we go out to the bar and we hang out there for 4 hours. So…..

Sunny Gault : My husband would like that. Well, maybe I don’t know this is kind of a silly question but really what are we getting out of playgroups? Is it really for the parents? When we talked about like moms getting night out or whatever or this is for the kids or is it a little bit about both?

Tami Pence : I think that’s an absolutely amazing question because I have gotten more out of this as a parent and as a woman and as a wife and as a friend than I ever thought I would. And, my kids have gotten the socialization that I as a teacher really wanted them to have to be able to go into a situation with confidence, with other adults, with other kids. The problem solving that they have learned, the sharing they have learned and the women that I have met have been absolutely amazing. They are people from completely different political, religious, economic backgrounds and all of us share this commonality and I have met some of my best friends in the last 4 years. And it just keeps going because your kids evolve, you evolve you know, it’s great to have somebody there laughing and crying when your kid cuts their hair off and saying “Yeah, mine will be next.” So, it’s been a really good experience not only for me but for my husband and my kids.

Sarah Overbey : How do you evolve you know, your older siblings or when you have kids at varying ages? You know, I have twins so it’s easy for me because they always gonna be the same age so I don’t have to worry about that one but if you have got kids of 5 years and 13 months you know a newborn. How can you, are there groups where you know your kids can get different experiences, different stimulation and that sort of thing?

Tami Pence : Absolutely, we let our captains decide whether or not they want to have older siblings. I can talk from my experience when my son was born I didn’t want any other walkers around they might step on the baby and then after you have your second or third, fourth kid bring them on. Especially, if anyone has you know, older siblings that’s great for the babysitting. So, captains get an opportunity to either invite the older siblings or younger siblings or not and I actually have two different playgroups and kind of what we have tried to do is facilitate activities that are going to be more age appropriate for whoever that particular group is so I have a 4-year-old and 2-year-old. For example, if we go to Zee Mars for a little field trip, we might wanna take on the bigger kids on the train for that one and then the dads will meet us there with the little kids and so there is a little bit of experience for everybody. But playgroups and playdates are so easy when holidays is let’s just go to a park and you are bringing the different toys, the big kids like playing with the little kids' toys, they leave the little kids alone, the little kids wanna follow the big kids, everybody is happy.

Owen Hemsath : Yeah, that’s what my wife does is, they do lot of she all week she don’t play dates it’s like 9 to 11 at the beach, at the park and so it’s very, very simple but’s it’s also from our internal groups so it’s these friends you know, my wife and her friend. My wife and her friend and I have never thought about it as a group situation. I thought it was a one on one almost.

Sarah Overbey : It’s pretty flexible as far as for example you know, I work part time my kids got this, my husband has got varying work schedules so I couldn’t necessarily commit to a group every single Tuesday. My schedule varies every week. So, are there groups where it is kind of floating or does it tend to be like 10 am Tuesdays, that’s the group?

Tami Pence : That’s one of the greater parts about Parent Connection is we really have something for everybody. We have playgroups that are designated by age range and by area, region, of the town you live in. But, we also designate them by specialty. There are 4 language playgroups, there is special needs playgroup and there are green playgroups. So there is all sorts of different activities and different groups to meet all the needs that people have. And quite a few of the playgroups, once you get to know people, once you get things established within your first 6 or 8 months that time is always gonna affect everybody’s schedule.

Owen Hemsath : Yeah.

Sarah Overbey : Yeah.

Tami Pence : And then people go back to work part time and so it kind of just fluctuates. Our playgroups have changed days, changed times I think every 6 months for the last 4 years and something always works for somebody.

Owen Hemsath : It seems like you get really political too like, in terms of who to invite and who to invite again you know what I mean you gotta a group in Delmar for example like “Oh! You are from ocean side you know, I am not sure if you are right for this group” so that sort of thing. So, how do you know who invite and how do you handle some of those internal conflicts that might arise?

Tami Pence : Well, like I said we separate ours into age range and areas. So, most people are looking for playgroups that are gonna be close to home.

KC Wilt : They don’t wanna drive for 45 minutes have a cup of coffee with someone and especially with the kid and nap and all that.

Owen Hemsath : But I can also see someone from San Marco saying “Hey, you know, from the inland area saying you know I wanna get closer to the beach my playdates you know.”

Tami Pence : You don’t have to be doing those. We do let the captain’s make a choice when it comes to anyone who lives outside of the age range or their regions specifically just to keep the numbers where it is more comfortable.

Owen Hemsath : Right.

Tami Pence : Because it is challenging to create a real experience in a real relationship if you have got 60 or 70 people there. So, that’s why we really try to focus on getting people within that particular region or just so we can offer more playgroups. And hopefully we would have opened one ocean side and then have one in Delmar and yes it’s gonna be people who come and go. We have people who have moved out of our area and they still come back.

Owen Hemsath : Right.

Sunny Gault : Do most playgroups kind of stay open so to speak as far as allowing new people in because I have a little bit of anxiety over new playgroups like, I am not involved with one right now but everyone keeps telling me “Oh! You have to get into a playgroup” and this one thinks I have to do less. And so, but I am a little nervous about it because I feel that everyone is already gonna established relationships and their kids are gonna know each other and then I am the new kid on my block as well as my toddler. So, how do you handle that? What’s your advice for people?

Tami Pence : Well, first of all of the Parent Connection are opened to all members all time that is a requirement in order to be an active member on our playgroup. I can tell you that we have a 4-year-old playgroup and one of the newest members joined about 3 months ago and it’s like any group of people, takes a little while you have put yourself out there. You are talking with people who are very intimate relationships for potentially years or potentially not but everything seems to jell, everything seems to come together. The kids end up getting to know one another and it’s just you taking the opportunity to you know, put yourself out there. The No.1 thing you can do to have a successful playgroup experience, however, is consistency. You go and you make it that’s one of the reasons that a lot of the playgroups mine included has stayed together longer than the first 6 months or the first year. It is people who made the effort and they said you know what, every week when kids have school we are going to be here and we are really gonna try hard to create these experiences and these relationships.

Sarah Overbey : And I find that the age group really does have a big deal like I told you we started our mom’s group from breastfeeding support group all around the same age and then we got to point what are we kept going to this support group, we kept meeting new moms and the babies getting younger and younger and finally we just kind of cut it off and said No more people join our Facebook group, no more of all that and we still be friends with you, we still hang out with you because all going to this parent thing together but we were getting sick of like Facebook page. We were like how do I dissolve it? We were like we have been there, done that like and we were in a different phase of parenting and we wanted to you know, benefit from that state. I think that the age thing I didn’t realize it before but it really makes a huge difference because you just go into it together.

Tami Pence : And the funny part is it makes a huge difference before we head out for about 3 and a half and four. Once walking is not an issue, potty training is not an issue and then naps. Finally, the naps, once the naps are gone, it’s all good, yeah. Exactly you will wonder why I wouldn’t have such a hard time you know getting anything done when these are kids sleeping for 3 hours but yeah, it’s definitely important especially in the very beginning. But then it just kind of ups and downs just like life.

KC Wilt : Great, thank you so much Tami. When we come back we will talk about play day at a care and tips to start your own playgroup. We will be back shortly.

[Theme Music]

KC Wilt : So, we are back with Tamie Pence talking about playgroup. So is there play day etiquette? What does the host provide; guests provide I mean, all sorts of things like that you don’t pick your nose I mean….

Owen Hemsath : Alright, is there a BYOG to bring your own goldfish situation?

Tami Pence : I think everybody’s main thing is don’t be YOB, don’t bring your own boogers as long as you bring a healthy kid everybody will be happy.

Owen Hemsath : Yeah, absolutely.

Tami Pence : Now, our playgroup etiquette, we do have something on our website at https://www.sandiegoparent.com that it’s very similar to less have it in a public school. If your kids have a fever, if they have diarrhea you need to keep them home but other than that etiquette is come as you are, do want you want and don’t expect anything.

Owen Hemsath : Alright.

Tami Pence : You know just come and have fun. In the beginning your kids are little sometimes playgroups are in people’s homes or in the local coffee shop but now you know, it’s just come to the park, make sure you have got your name on your toys, make sure that if you bring them they are gonna up for grabs for everybody, a little bit of sadness and tears that’s the part of the growing process.

Owen Hemsath : And you know, that brings up a good point to is with kids fighting and recurring and things like this we were into a situation in the park the other day where our 5 year old gets picked on and he stood up for himself and it was awkward you know, and then the kids dad came over and he says “what happens my kid was picking up your kid he got laid out for it so,”

KC Wilt : Well, you don’t always have an understanding parent. They will be like “Hey, your kid just you know, tell him to step off”

Owen Hemsath : Alright, so how do you conflict, how do you manage conflicts at least what you teach your parents?

Tami Pence : We try and tell the parents that it needs to be something that’s going to not be hurtful, that it’s not going to be personal and if you do have an issue with the child it needs to be universal, a universal discussion with everybody. If someone is hating everybody needs to come together kind of like in a classroom you sit down all the little 3 year olds and say “It’s not okay to hit, hitting hurts, keep your hands to yourself and that’s gonna be one of our park rule” You don’t make it a playgroup really make it a park rule and you kind of just use your common sense you can hit at home just not at the park, exactly.

Owen Hemsath : Kicking is fine.

Sarah Overbey : But, what do you do for example, I mean I am sure you can count this many times but you know there is a parent in the group and all of a sudden their kid becomes a biter and you know their parenting philosophies are much more laid back. They don’t seem to be anything about it.

Tami Pence : Let him work it out, they are okay.

Sarah Overbey : Yeah.

Tami Pence : Those parents are,

Owen Hemsath : You are just pressing himself.

Tami Pence : And you know when you play with your good friends you feel like you can maybe say a little more but if it is someone that’s really you know don’t know them well you can’t really you know, you feel limited in what you say and you don’t care how kids get hurt and stuff so what happens,

Owen Hemsath : You got this weird pull that’s an awkward situation.

Sunny Gault : So, how do you mean I am sure some parents exit the group because they feel like their kid getting bitten or hit you know at times how does that get dealt with?

Tami Pence : Well, I think one of the good things is that typically something like that is a phase so you stick around long enough it’s eventually gonna go away. And if it doesn’t it is one of the opportunities where you can teach your kids how to stand up for themselves using words instead of using actions and you know, take your child with you while you talk to the other parents or use the opportunity to ask the other parent “Hey, my son is trying to learn to tell somebody if he doesn’t like something, would you mind standing here when my son talks to your son?” Put it on the kid and just do it in the safe way of course and a comfortable way but any problems that I have ever had at the park fortunately, I haven’t had them in my playgroup. But, any problems we have ever had at the park it always seems to find a way to work themselves out and our honestly parks are huge and they are a nice and safe environment and if someone is having a problem you go to the other side and you just redirect your kid.

Owen Hemsath : Yeah.

KC Wilt : What happens if you have an unconcerned parent because this is all fine and done deal, if your parent goes “Oh! I am sorry let’s talk about it, let’s talk through a kid” but exactly what we kind of said I have a friend who is in a playgroup right now and there is a mom there and her kids had cakes whatever is there and just watches and laughs. And then when the parent addresses it, it has brought it up to a situation she will just say “Oh! You know Johnny, Johnny boy don’t do that”

Owen Hemsath : Okay, after laughing.

KC Wilt : You know, yeah and what kind of I mean, can you kick them out I mean, how does that work?

Owen Hemsath : Stop emailing him?

Tami Pence : At Parent Connection, no we don’t kick anybody out so if they are active parent connection members if however, their membership does lapse then you know, for safety reasons obviously,

Sunny Gault : But any tips and tricks on how to talk to a parent?

Tami Pence : I am all about the honesty and you know, sometimes you have to be brutally honest, you have to let somebody know that you don’t have to appreciate how their children are acting towards your kids or otherwise. I try not to bring in any other friends or any other kids and I just discuss with them anything that could be focused on my personal kids you know, keep it as personal as possible with them between you and whatever the issue is and then they are awkward and never come back.

Owen Hemsath : Squeeze them out.

Tami Pence : It’s like every group you know, fortunately when it comes to playgroups we haven’t had a lot of quirks in mind at all. Everybody has found things that they have in common and if you have things that are not in common then you choose not to discuss. You just don’t bring it to the park that day.

Owen Hemsath : Well, that sounds like that’s the natural dynamics too. I mean, that’s how we operate everywhere whether it’s chamber of commerce meeting or church or whatever we you know, and these are, we gravitate those that are most like us. Those are being part of a group in a local area you already, who has kids you are already working with people that shared your geographical similarities, parenting similarities, they are joining a group, you are joining a group. So, it seems like there is, there is chances are it’s going to get along quite nicely.

Tami Pence : Yes, and in the ground scheme of things like I said in the beginning a playgroup is an opportunity for your kids to get some socialization, for you get out of the house and be able to talk to somebody else and may not have to play baker’s oven for two seconds at the park and just give everybody an opportunity to get some fresh air and get some new insights and hopefully play with some new toys.

KC Wilt : So, what are some tips? We have talked about Parent Connection in San Diego and there are a lot of people listening not from San Diego so, what are some tips on starting your own group and given new recommendations?
Tami Pence : Well, definitely if you are in San Diego you wanna contact the Parent Connection at https://www.sandiegoparent.com but also what I would do if I wasn’t in an area that I would go to a hospital because the hospitals have got the contact information and access to all moms, anyone who is giving birth. And going through the breastfeeding support groups, going through any sort of groups that are going to naturally bring a parent on and should just feel confident and feel comfortable going up to someone in the park who has a kid, who looks like they are about your child’s age. I mean I talk to people at Target, I talk to people at the grocery store. It’s just, it’s a funny thing about having a kid, it changes you and makes you into someone who is comfortable saying “Hey, I like your kid’s shirt today. Where did you get it?” And then it goes from there and just taking the step and saying “Hey, let’s meet at the park at 10’o clock tomorrow morning” and do it, do it within that week. I like to bring a lot of activities and so it’s not all about the kids though. We do the mom’s night outs, we do dad’s night outs, we do family picnics, we do field trips. We actually go to grocery stores and go to the police station and the fire station, we go look around and anything going to get us out from our own home for a couple of hours.

Owen Hemsath : Sure.

KC Wilt : It’s interesting we did an interview with Preggie Pals our sister show with Ina May Gaskin and we asked her some tips on, actually it could have been the question we asked for this show was that we asked about what are some tips that new parents can take from the animal kingdom? And she talked about how there are these chimps and that they found after one had a baby, they found each other and she said that after you have the baby it’s the loneliest time and unless they take our key from the animal kingdom is that we need each other to walk through these stages and be a part of it. And that’s what we learn you can’t do this by yourself like, we can try and there are people that succeed but when we have people that come along beside us and parent with us. And just even the friendship that we develop in these playgroups that really is good for you and your child.

Owen Hemsath : Well, it’s the same for, for guys too, for the dads because I know that I married into fatherhood and a lot of my friends they don’t, my friends don’t understand that you know, they are still newlyweds whatever the case might be. So, they are still shooting, pull, jack and cock and kind of be in the guys. Now I have had two buddies who just had babies and they soften up so quickly and it’s important to have a network out there of other guys that can relate to that because it is kind of a, my heart is softer now, my tone is softer, I am more patient, I am not that same guy. I am a more matured man than I was before and so for the guys out there that are thinking you know, “what am I gonna do, I am going to this weird, Oh! My gosh I am in love with my baby, I am in love with my wife, I am in love with my family” always seeing it you know culture at large tells us not to attain. I think a playgroup would be essential to meet other dads that are in love with their kids and to watch your kids grow up together. Those things have been really just an impactful for us and maturing as parents as well.

Sunny Gault : I have a question about if we are gonna start a playgroup how often would you recommend to have events because not everyone is gonna come to every event…..

Tami Pence : Exactly.

Sunny Gault : And I would imagine we would want enough out there so constantly the remaining people “Hey, there is a playgroup. Hey, there is a way to get involved” But then again over stimulation is sometimes a bad thing you know, like “Would you just shut up if I get another email about I am gonna clench” so what is your recommendation, Tami?

Tami Pence : Yes, I really think the best thing to do is choose one day, one time and just do it once a week at least for the first 3 to 6 months until you get to know everyone and get to know what is they are interested in doing. And you know, change is often scary for some people so it’s kind of nice to choose one location and just keep it there. You know, it might sound monotonous to say that we are going to meet at this park, at 4’o clock every Monday for the next 3 months. But there is a comfort in that as well. Makes it easy for you, makes it easy for everyone else and that’s what it’s about. You don’t need any more stress, you have got little ones at home.

Owen Hemsath : Does the group leader need to be there or do they descend send out because I am guessing like this is there an RSVP etiquette? We are gonna be there or you know what if the group is like “I am really stressed I don’t wanna go today”?
Tami Pence : That’s a great question, that’s something that I found to be really important within our playgroup as I wasn’t able to be there, I always had somebody who was my official, here be nice and say hello to everyone and if we have someone new make sure you introduce that person. So, that everybody knows that we have got new member attending and yes, why did I always schedule them when I knew for sure that I was going to be there. And we use a Yahoo group site so it’s a nice safe place for us because it’s privatized but it also just has a calendar says come if you can, don’t worry if you can’t.

KC Wilt : Awesome, thank you so much Tami Pence for helping us learn about the 411 on playdates. If you want more information on Parent Connection, go to today’s show on our episode’s page on our website or visit https://www.sandiegoparent.com.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segments: Childcare Options for Date Night]
KC Wilt : Before we wrap today’s show here is a message from one of our listeners.

Kerry : Hi, there my name is Kerry and I am calling from Baltimore, Maryland and I have a question after listening to one of your episodes on childcare options. My husband and I, we both work fulltime and we don’t have a lot of time to stick together and get out on our own it’s something that we really wanna start doing and I was wondering if your experts Dr. Lori Rappaport, if she would have any suggestions on what couples ought to do for if they wanna get out like a date or something like that? Thanks so much, bye, bye!

Dr. Lori Rappaport : Great question and I think they are so crucial and too often new parents just go for that but it’s really important for you to get out with your partner. There are lots of ways to do it and I advise people to be creative. One is, of course, a relative someone that you know that might be willing to provide you some day care, local colleges, community colleges, if you live near university have job boards where you can get a regular sitter. You can advertise and it’s all done online now where they’ll send your resume, you can meet them and talk about that and so you might be able to advertise someone in for Wednesday night sitter or even, what I often suggest to parents is get someone to come earlier to moms 4’o clock so that you can leave, have a little time to yourself, dress you know, take a shower instead of rushing out the door maybe stop at the bookstore, do some references you need to do. So, when you meet your partner and you go to dinner at 6 or 6.30pm, you are a little bit more relaxed, you feel like you didn’t just rush out, you had some time to decompress and the conversation may not all be about your child or your day. So, that’s helpful too just give yourself a little bit of buffer and sometimes college students you know, by then have the schedules they can do that. There are high school students who can do that as well and another creative way is to swap with another family. So, you may have a friend who has a baby or young kids that your kids get along with and someone that you might provide it for each other and take them. And in that case you may want to be creative and not do late evening but in fact meet your partner earlier or even do lunch where you can swap and do something little bit different or go to dinner early at 4’o clock with them and come home or be home by bedtime rather than you know, have someone come in. For many of us with more than one child, we are tired by 7pm. So, the thought of going out at that point really isn’t usually appealing but, if we could go out at 3pm and leave the afternoon, the bath time and all that stuff to someone else and come back and put them to bed or come back right after they go to bed we have the rest of the evening at home relaxed, we have been out so you need the earliest to be creative on Saturday morning and Sunday morning when your kids are running around and contempt to play in the house that’s the great time to get someone to come over, a high school student, a relative so you can go out with your partner for couple of hours out by yourself.

KC Wilt : That wraps up today’s show. We would love to hear from you if you have any questions for our expert about today’s show or the topics we discussed, call our Parent Savers hotline at 619-866-4775 or send us an email through our website https://www.parentsavers.com or our Facebook page and we’ll answer your questions in an upcoming episode. Thanks for listening to Parent Savers, empowering new parents everywhere.

[Disclaimer]
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Suggestions and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. For such information in which areas are related to be accurate it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating house care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

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